In 5th grade I was recruited by John Robert Powers to model but at the time I wanted to act and they said I should do both. Long story short, they are crooks and fake power houses that just wanted all my money.
Attempt number two to model was getting into pageantry! I participated in the National American Miss Pageant the sumemr before 6th grade and had a blast but didn't even make it to finals. The experience was fun and confidence building but I was sad a weekend in Orlando and months of fundraising went by so quick. I later attempted more pageants but my parents saw it as cash gimmicks. And as I grew older I agreed. Don't get me wrong I LOVE pagentry still and would go back if I had the money but I don't. 10th grade year I tried out to be in an African American Pageant in Palm Beach County but once again too much money and no time to find sponsors. I really feel like a gamble in pagentry.
I just stopped. Trying to be a model and a pageant beauty queen I just stopped, sure that my efforts were being wasted.
But as I got older, graduated, and upgraded my wardrobe with my awesome Macy'ss Magic I kept hearing the same comments.....
Are you a model?
Have you modeled?
Are you interested in modeling?
Girl you got the legs!
You are beautiful you should model.
You got the right figure to model!
.........YET NO ONE HAS SCOUTED ME!
I beleive you can't complain about getting somewhere if you don't put yourself out there to be gotten. So I did! Right when I turned 18. Craigslist postings I replied to. Stupid mall casting calls I put my name in and nothing. The closest I got to modeling was when I somehow got in contact with an agency in Ft.Lauderdale that was active and casted the boy in Marley & Me. The wanted no money up front and only took a percentage of the jobs they got me...SOUNDED GREAT! BUT they wanted professional photos done of me and a comp card that would be costly.....I was 16 at the time turning 17 and my Dad and the lady just suggested I come back when I'm 18 and I've saved up some money -___-
So going back to the comments I said I got so frequently, I ggot them at work from old ladies, body builder women, and ex-models even. My co-workers even wanted me in the INC fashion show but I couldn't go cause I promised I'd be at my nephew's football game to support and photograph him ballin on the field which he did!
At any rate, over Winter Break of SCAD I had an intership with a photographer and decided to give modeling another try but this time a serious mature try. And that started with pictures! I asked the guy I interned for to photograph me and he got some beautiful shots! But what he doesn't know is the drama I put myself through the night before the shoot. I figured I would google some poses and sample comp cards to see what was required in headshots and full body shots and boy oh boy is there a lot!!
Turn your hips away to look thinner. Weight on back leg to look thinner. never to do poses. cliche poses. how to put your hands! all this led to what to wear and what not to wear. I realized I needed more than one look and hair style! Secret is I had to do my own make-up slightly rushed. I quickly shaved my legs the night before. Straightened my hair the morning of. Made sure my nails were manicured and my toe nails!
For not knowing ANYTHING about modeling I learned very quickly and think I got some solid shots! 2 of which he specialled touched up for me so that I could send them to agencies.
Next for getting serious I looked up agencies in my area (delray beach at the time). Conviently later that week a new talent agency was opening in Boca from their location in Ft.Lauderdale and got down my info when I ran into them at the Boca Mall. Conviently my appointment got pushed back until I had to leave for Savannah. I applied to another agency via online app and never heard back. My last agency chance was Halo Talent Agency in Savannah. which was convient cause I would be here in Savannah till the summer and for the next 3 years. I went AGAIN unprepared and the owner was harsh but in a good way kinda giving you what to expect in the tough cut-throat business of modeling. And long story short there...I never got an email which means I'm not worthy..YET.
But in her sample success stories she mentioned people in similar situations I want to be in. A male professional in the full time work force but part time model. High school student and part time model. I want to be the SCAD student and part time model. I want to be the full time photographer and part time model. why can't that be me?!
But I'm not done trying yet. and I don't think I ever will be. Modeling and pagentry is not a career goal but it is a dream that will sit on a burner until the burner is hott enough for it to be moved up.
Tomorrow...or really later today. SCAD's fashion department is recruiting models for their annual fashion show which is huge!! I feel like this is my chance to be taught, trained, and learn for freee!! Learn things and get pictures in action that I could never afford at this stage in my life.
As skinny as I am....I'm nervous. I'm nervous because I don't feel like I'm in MY body.
MY body is used to being seasonally trained by track and winging in through the off season.
MY body can work out when sick and feel better even.
MY body blows through ab works easy!
MY body has killer legs that scream the life of a track star...
But I don't feel like I'm in MY body...
cause I missed out on my senior year season of track.
cause I stopped pole fitness when I moved out to georgia.
cause I am sick and working out the other day nearly killed me.
cause 2 sets of 20 declince bench crunches wore me out.
cause these legs haven't been shaved all winter
and haven't run in what feels like forever.
I miss MY body. and I can take not being prepared. or not having enough training in modeling. but I can't take my body being an issue. Cause I LOVE MY body...I just need some time getting back to MY body. Its not about being skinny to me and I could care less about my weight. I just want to be healthy and toned. Muscle comfort me because there isn't much fat. And if I'm gonna be the size I am I feel like the least I can do is take care of it with regular exercise and thats what I plan to do! So hopefully I can get through these castings later. And best believe I'll have a response coming soon.
Nov. 2011-
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