Running Away from home...

People get homesick casue they miss home. The scent, the free food, the laughs, the memories... but I've never been homesick. And as much as people say I will I don't think so not even up in GA where I'm going to school. Yea I have memories here but only when my sibilings come back to visit for the holidays.
I'm antsy point blank. Ready to go and packing to go somewhere in June but don't have to be there till September. I wish SCAD had summer school.
To me home won't be the place I aspire for it to be until I leave it and return to it as a guest. Staying here there is curfews and arguements and loneliness. When my sibilings come back to visit they are greeted warmly from my mom and get to relish in the old times and explore the little town of Delray they left however long ago. But I'm still a resident...and I can't relish in nothing cause I feel locked inside.
My home is cold. Angry faces, unpleasant moods, misunderstanding eyes, and sighs of economic depression.  Why would I get homesick of that. My home and my family has taught me good things and bad things. And from them both, I've done nothing but plan my future. I've always been one to think ahead. I'm lost without an agenda or calendar....(btw i need a knew one).
But anyway, I've planned out my life, my future family that won't have these cold hearts and lonely rooms. I plan ways to improve all that I lacked.
I'm the last of Five. The nearest sibiling to me stopped playing with me when she was in the 7th grade. We're five years apart, and suddenly barbies and Disney Channel were solo events. By the time she graduated I was finally in the 7th grade. But it was too late cause now she was an "adult" and I the "git."
Damn! I'm such a sob story but it's true it really is. All these things i remember and will never forget. They mold me and make the thoughts in my head.

Reflecting on it all makes me realize I'm running away from home into a sunset, just to return home and go to bed....
Then wake up and feel the same way again...
In time.