I Love Who I Am

Today is Mother's Day.
I got to do quite a bit of of reminiscing with my friends at church and on my own when I got home.
I had such a lovely conversation with Kay Johnson, my kindred spirit, for hours in my room. Our conversation is always so intellectual, heart warming, realistic, and spiritual. I just love it.
I'm about to hit such a milestone in my life and I get emotional about it but in a good way.
I'm looking at pictures from High School and then looking at me now and I'm just like dang!
I am NOT the same person at all!
But I LOVE the person that I've become.


My confidence and self-esteem was never in the dumps but it wasn't really high at a younger age. And my strongest relationship did boost my confidence and influence lots of changes in my life and I give our relationship credit for what it did for me then. But that was then. If my confidence and self-esteem was dependent on that relationship, then when it ended I would fall and crumble but I didn't. I found my level of self-esteem that I made my own, and my relationship with God is the stimulator behind that confidence.
I think its alright to receive confidence from another person, but it's how you thrive alone is what speaks mountains about you who are and how you feel about yourself.

Last night, I went out downtown with my friends Malikah and Kye and had a great time walking around looking beautiful in our own individual ways. Every woman loves a good compliment, but she shouldn't live for that compliment and crave it. A woman deserves it, but a compliment should serve as reinforcement of something she already knows and if it's from someone handsome that is just a cherry on top lol.

PROVERBS CH. 31 (starting at verse 10)

Description of a Worthy Woman

10 An excellent wife, who can find ? For her worth is far above jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. 13 She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. 14 She is like merchant ships ; She brings her food from afar. 15 She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens. 16 She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong. 18 She senses that her gain is good ; Her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle. 20 She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen. 25Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future . 26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: 29"Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all." 30Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. 31Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.

 

The description of a worthy woman is so beautiful to me. Kay and I sat and read this today in my room and just remarked on the terminology and just awesomeness of this woman that is being described. A model of a proper wife, a blessed woman of God. "Her lamp does not go out at night" .... "Strength and dignity are her clothing" .... "She smiles at her future"
The NIV version of verse 25 says: "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come."

Listen, lol, I just can't with how pure this is. No one is perfect, you have your moments of concern, weakness, fear, sadness and what have you but all of that are acts of the devil trying to fool you into a state of mind that God did not want for you.

Prayer, Trust, and Faith in the promise that God put over my life is what comforts me and allows me to LAUGH at the days to come, SMILE at my future. I am only going up from where I am now. I am calmly in my place called wait and I am so excited for the plans God has for me. The best consistent complement that any of friends have shared with me is my strength. There is something about my strength and independence that makes them so sure I'll be alright despite any "downfall" that may come my way. And I put "downfall' in quotes cause it may look and sound bad to someone else but I know every missed opportunity just means God has something better for me in store.

So here is my reality.....

I am 20 Years young, just months away from 21.
I am an Artist.
I am well above my years.
I am graduating college in one more year.
I am independent.
I am single.
I am confident.
I am strong.
I am determined
I am my own person.
I am not in control
I will not fret over finances
I will not be envious
I will not boast my achievements
I will not be sad about my losses
I will not be concerned with negativity
I will not allow any person, place or thing keep me from my divine Promise over my life.
I will be Fearless
I will Pray
I will complete a 4 year undergraduate degree in only 3 years.
I will study abroad in Europe.
I will leave Savannah, GA to work in another city or county that God will guide me to
I will be happy
I will be successful
I will be a vessel to help others and their walk in Christ
I will laugh and smile at my days to come
Because I am God's creation
Because God is in control
Because Knowledge is power
Because I acknowledge HIM
Because I am unashamed
Because I want to serve
Because I have NO doubt
Because He won't lead me astray
Because of my Faith
Because of Mercy
Because All is Well
Because of I Love Him
Because He Loves Me More.
Because He is able
Because the Blood Still Works
Because I Love Who I Am.