I Love Who I Am

Today is Mother's Day.
I got to do quite a bit of of reminiscing with my friends at church and on my own when I got home.
I had such a lovely conversation with Kay Johnson, my kindred spirit, for hours in my room. Our conversation is always so intellectual, heart warming, realistic, and spiritual. I just love it.
I'm about to hit such a milestone in my life and I get emotional about it but in a good way.
I'm looking at pictures from High School and then looking at me now and I'm just like dang!
I am NOT the same person at all!
But I LOVE the person that I've become.


My confidence and self-esteem was never in the dumps but it wasn't really high at a younger age. And my strongest relationship did boost my confidence and influence lots of changes in my life and I give our relationship credit for what it did for me then. But that was then. If my confidence and self-esteem was dependent on that relationship, then when it ended I would fall and crumble but I didn't. I found my level of self-esteem that I made my own, and my relationship with God is the stimulator behind that confidence.
I think its alright to receive confidence from another person, but it's how you thrive alone is what speaks mountains about you who are and how you feel about yourself.

Last night, I went out downtown with my friends Malikah and Kye and had a great time walking around looking beautiful in our own individual ways. Every woman loves a good compliment, but she shouldn't live for that compliment and crave it. A woman deserves it, but a compliment should serve as reinforcement of something she already knows and if it's from someone handsome that is just a cherry on top lol.

PROVERBS CH. 31 (starting at verse 10)

Description of a Worthy Woman

10 An excellent wife, who can find ? For her worth is far above jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. 13 She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. 14 She is like merchant ships ; She brings her food from afar. 15 She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens. 16 She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong. 18 She senses that her gain is good ; Her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle. 20 She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen. 25Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future . 26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: 29"Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all." 30Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. 31Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.

 

The description of a worthy woman is so beautiful to me. Kay and I sat and read this today in my room and just remarked on the terminology and just awesomeness of this woman that is being described. A model of a proper wife, a blessed woman of God. "Her lamp does not go out at night" .... "Strength and dignity are her clothing" .... "She smiles at her future"
The NIV version of verse 25 says: "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come."

Listen, lol, I just can't with how pure this is. No one is perfect, you have your moments of concern, weakness, fear, sadness and what have you but all of that are acts of the devil trying to fool you into a state of mind that God did not want for you.

Prayer, Trust, and Faith in the promise that God put over my life is what comforts me and allows me to LAUGH at the days to come, SMILE at my future. I am only going up from where I am now. I am calmly in my place called wait and I am so excited for the plans God has for me. The best consistent complement that any of friends have shared with me is my strength. There is something about my strength and independence that makes them so sure I'll be alright despite any "downfall" that may come my way. And I put "downfall' in quotes cause it may look and sound bad to someone else but I know every missed opportunity just means God has something better for me in store.

So here is my reality.....

I am 20 Years young, just months away from 21.
I am an Artist.
I am well above my years.
I am graduating college in one more year.
I am independent.
I am single.
I am confident.
I am strong.
I am determined
I am my own person.
I am not in control
I will not fret over finances
I will not be envious
I will not boast my achievements
I will not be sad about my losses
I will not be concerned with negativity
I will not allow any person, place or thing keep me from my divine Promise over my life.
I will be Fearless
I will Pray
I will complete a 4 year undergraduate degree in only 3 years.
I will study abroad in Europe.
I will leave Savannah, GA to work in another city or county that God will guide me to
I will be happy
I will be successful
I will be a vessel to help others and their walk in Christ
I will laugh and smile at my days to come
Because I am God's creation
Because God is in control
Because Knowledge is power
Because I acknowledge HIM
Because I am unashamed
Because I want to serve
Because I have NO doubt
Because He won't lead me astray
Because of my Faith
Because of Mercy
Because All is Well
Because of I Love Him
Because He Loves Me More.
Because He is able
Because the Blood Still Works
Because I Love Who I Am.

Liars!

-__-

That's my initial face when I find out someone has lied to me.
I just don't understand WHY LIE?!

The truth is light and it will always come out!

James 3:8, "But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison."

People say oh I wanted to tell you in person, or oh you were having a good day i didn't wanna tell you bad news... -__-

Let me tell you I don't need anyone PLAYING GOD trying to determine what I can and can't handle. You are not my master, you are not my savior. Everything happens for a reason, Lies always go over better when you are upfront about them too. If you let months go by knowing that you did something awful yet try to continue a happy normal life YOU ARE FOOLING YOURSELF!
You know the truth.
God knows the truth.
And there is a good chance you have a witness in most cases that you may not even know about.

I'm not saying you should tell all your business so not to lie. But if you are uncomfortable telling someone something let them know! Don't give them a false story cause you don't want them to know the real one. That's how a small lie gets built up for days and years and so on...

I'm at an age and a point where I just feel so disgusted when someone lies to me. Depending on how much I trust and love them that disgust can grow to heart ache and distance separation. Sometimes you lie and don't even notice, But you need to come around and fix your lie. Make it known and apologize. Now if I barely know the person and I catch them in a lie...then shoot its an easy eye roll and good day sir or madame!

What does the BIBLE say about lies?

Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.

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At age 20 I can honestly say that this week is the toughest week I have had in a really long time. Within this week great things have happened but they've been shadowed by dark sad things at the same time. I have a feeling in my heart that has me tense and reaching out to God like never before.
Sometimes I'm scared, I'm sad, I'm lost but that's where the test comes in. Despite my sad reflections I have to remember what does Jesus say? What comfort and help can he provide me?

Philippians 4:6-7, “Be anxious about nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication let your requests be known unto God and the peace of God which passes all understanding shall keep your heart and mind.” 

I was taught the steps of a Good Man are ordered. God doesn't want you to walk a life a failure and darkness. But in all your desires and aspirations I was taught you should bring it up to God and ask him if this is his will. Ask God to remove anything from your life that displeases him and to order your steps in the word of Christ, himself.

Psalms 37: 23-26 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down, for the Lord upholdeth him with His hand. I have been young and am now old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread. He is ever merciful and lendeth and his seed is blessed.
Psalms 199: 105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says... International Standard Version (©2012) No temptation has overtaken you that is unusual for human beings. But God is faithful, and he will not allow you to be tempted beyond your strength. Instead, along with the temptation he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to endure it. King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.) There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

I have all these keys and aides in the Bible yet I sometimes feel that I find them too late. But its never too late. When God makes his word known to me on the Internet, through a friend, or another means that IS my way out of a tough situation.

Matthew 11:28, “Come unto me all you that labor and are heavy laden with the burdens of life. When you come I will give you rest.”

Though my battles may seem long I know Christ is with me. I pray that this post blesses someone one day.

I'm coming LORD...

 

>>>More information how to walk with God http://www.borntofish.com/graceap/steps.htm