Faces

Today someone accused me of having an attitude the past few days and it just rubbed me the wrong way. I'm had a hell of a week and quite a month in general.
I am a very optimistic, happy, silly, fun happy organized and passionate person.
Honesty is my policy that's the game I rather play, not lies, not hidden motives and tension. If you hear something or if I come off a certain way open your mouth and question me! Cause more than likely you are reading my body language wrong and falsely interpreting my tone or diction.

This was my Facebook status like 5mins ago:

You NEVER know what kind of day someone is having or what major circumstance they are facing in their lives. THINK about that before you assume and come at them the wrong way.

 

I learned this simple philosophy in high school by my Colonel Rodriguez to be exact. He taught me that as a leader its important to relate to your people/platoon/squad or whatever it may be. Someone could have had a death in the family, lost their pet, got dumped, pulled an all nighter, perhaps they are anxious for health reasons it could be anything! And if you come off wrong and start complaining that their attitude sucks or they aren't present cause they seem in a daze... how about you give them a hug? relate to them? ask are you ok?

I'm not gonna lie I've been in a fog and it keeps getting denser but I know God is going to change the weather in my life very soon. I am swamped right now. My club, my business, my clients, and oh yea my finals in all 3 studio classes! I'm doing the most yet I'm in a fog and staying optimistic. Keeping a smile on my face to keep the positive energy flowing and crying at night to drain the negative vibes from my spirit. Spring break is two weeks away and boy is my spirit looking forward to taking a break from it all.

 

So please please please PAUSE before you speak to someone. Don't come off wrong cause there is always more to the story. They could be on the verge of tears and your inconsiderate comment or speculation can be their last straw.

Liars!

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That's my initial face when I find out someone has lied to me.
I just don't understand WHY LIE?!

The truth is light and it will always come out!

James 3:8, "But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison."

People say oh I wanted to tell you in person, or oh you were having a good day i didn't wanna tell you bad news... -__-

Let me tell you I don't need anyone PLAYING GOD trying to determine what I can and can't handle. You are not my master, you are not my savior. Everything happens for a reason, Lies always go over better when you are upfront about them too. If you let months go by knowing that you did something awful yet try to continue a happy normal life YOU ARE FOOLING YOURSELF!
You know the truth.
God knows the truth.
And there is a good chance you have a witness in most cases that you may not even know about.

I'm not saying you should tell all your business so not to lie. But if you are uncomfortable telling someone something let them know! Don't give them a false story cause you don't want them to know the real one. That's how a small lie gets built up for days and years and so on...

I'm at an age and a point where I just feel so disgusted when someone lies to me. Depending on how much I trust and love them that disgust can grow to heart ache and distance separation. Sometimes you lie and don't even notice, But you need to come around and fix your lie. Make it known and apologize. Now if I barely know the person and I catch them in a lie...then shoot its an easy eye roll and good day sir or madame!

What does the BIBLE say about lies?

Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.

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At age 20 I can honestly say that this week is the toughest week I have had in a really long time. Within this week great things have happened but they've been shadowed by dark sad things at the same time. I have a feeling in my heart that has me tense and reaching out to God like never before.
Sometimes I'm scared, I'm sad, I'm lost but that's where the test comes in. Despite my sad reflections I have to remember what does Jesus say? What comfort and help can he provide me?

Philippians 4:6-7, “Be anxious about nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication let your requests be known unto God and the peace of God which passes all understanding shall keep your heart and mind.” 

I was taught the steps of a Good Man are ordered. God doesn't want you to walk a life a failure and darkness. But in all your desires and aspirations I was taught you should bring it up to God and ask him if this is his will. Ask God to remove anything from your life that displeases him and to order your steps in the word of Christ, himself.

Psalms 37: 23-26 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down, for the Lord upholdeth him with His hand. I have been young and am now old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread. He is ever merciful and lendeth and his seed is blessed.
Psalms 199: 105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says... International Standard Version (©2012) No temptation has overtaken you that is unusual for human beings. But God is faithful, and he will not allow you to be tempted beyond your strength. Instead, along with the temptation he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to endure it. King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.) There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

I have all these keys and aides in the Bible yet I sometimes feel that I find them too late. But its never too late. When God makes his word known to me on the Internet, through a friend, or another means that IS my way out of a tough situation.

Matthew 11:28, “Come unto me all you that labor and are heavy laden with the burdens of life. When you come I will give you rest.”

Though my battles may seem long I know Christ is with me. I pray that this post blesses someone one day.

I'm coming LORD...

 

>>>More information how to walk with God http://www.borntofish.com/graceap/steps.htm

There's None Like Him

God works in miraculous ways.

It hurts to look back on every time I allow myself to be down and sad
For hours I do the worst to my spirit
I allow myself to forget that I'm breathing
That I'm standing
That I'm intelligent
I allow myself to forget I serve a healer
A protector
A provider
An awesome God.
I linger in darkness and tears because I feel a lack of control
I feel that everything is going wrong and nothing is right
I feel divided and alone and at a lost
How foolish am I?
How immature was my mind?
My future is predestined by an awesome God.
I walk in the light of His grace
I lack control because it is His life to control
Everything is going wrong because I kept myself from seeing his light
And in the midst of it all He Never Ever left my side...

How incredible is that?

Personal Quote

Here is a personal quote that alot of people on Tumblr seemed to enjoy so I'm sharing it on my blogger.

"The worst part about being the tough girl is that you have no one to be weak in front of."

 

I said this last year when I was having a weak point and pretty much crying alone. I have a lot of friends who I give advice to and help guide them on good days and bad. But when I have a weak point I'm often left in solitude. Fragile individuals could loose hope seeing their strong hold breakdown. And other than God and one or two other distant adult women in my life, I'm the strongest one I know personally. I read about tons of stronger women and wish I could meet them so that I could go to them, but I don't dwell on that because Christ is my strong hold that will never leave me. So, I shed my tears, wipe my face, and get back to work. Sounds robotic but I'm so serious. I'm emotionally distraught so I can't help but cry, but when I'm done I grab a Kleenex and get back to homework, or editing photos like I'm all better. I don't do this to be fake because internally I'm still sad, but I'm also confident that God is going to take over and settle my troubled heart. Being patient is the only hard part.

 

 

Here is a link to my Tumblr Post with this quote.

 

And Here is another blog post where I wrote a poem about this type of situation earlier this year.

Nothing hurts worst

It hurts to see what you hide
It hurts to see all the potential I know you can bring
Your spirit lacks motivation
Your spirit lacks my God.

I wish I could give you my strength
My courage
My trust
My mentality
My dedication
My love
If I could package these things and send to you
What a difference the world would see.

You are not me
And I am not you
But what I have is trapped inside you.
I was once where you are but by the grace of God these gifts were released
I feel its my mission to bring these same gifts out of you
To better your life
To better your spirit
And enlighten your life.


If anything hurts me the most its seeing someone I love struggle with something I have once over come or learned to battle. Along with that hurt is the difficulty in teaching someone something that you feel. My faith and knowledge that God will and can take care of all my troubles and won't let me fail is felt in my spirit and encourages my daily life. But how do I take that and instill it in someone else? Especially in the ones I love. My over abundant optimism can be insulting to some and empty support to another. But I offer it to encourage what one could do themselves. I hear too many people say something is impossible and they can't do it, but the ability to complete a task is completely up to the individual. God won't give you anything you can't handle and fear is not something He put in you. YOU are your biggest obstacle in life. YOU determine if you can do something or not. Its up to YOU to say I will try, this is possible. You may not be able to complete something the way you envisioned or at this point in time. But your mentality should always be that you will try, problem solve, and let it be possible not impossible.

Frustration
Anger
Stress
Pressure
Fear

All these ugly things try to invade my life everyday and I'll be honest sometimes they win but never for long. I recognize these ugly words in my spirit and I cast them out with my strength, my faith, and my knowledge as what I can do through God. These ugly words are acts of a person I don't associate myself with. And crying out to God and my optimism squashes those ugly words and that person who comes with those words under the ground where they belong. My eyes are always looking up to heaven and toward a future I know God promised me in prosperity.

I just wish I could relate these ideas and emotions to the ones I love. Nothing hurts worst than someone you love battling something you can help but their spirit is resisting yours. Praying helps but the waiting hurts more. Only if they knew how hard I am praying for them and fighting for them day and night. I won't let the devil win.