Mind of Jonas: Relationships vs. Dating

My Jonas is My Graphic Designer.
My graphic designer's name is Jonas.
We are both very career driven and helps in many aspects of my life beyond my graphic and web design needs.

Anyway Jonas comes up in my blog today because of the conversation we had today.
The information was so vital I felt it should be shared.

There is a huge difference between DATING and Being in a RELATIONSHIP.
This difference I didn't see until later in my young years (cough cough now lol)
 Our definition of "dating" is as follows:
DATING - exclusively learning about one person of interest in hopes of it growing into a committed relationship.

According to the mind of Jonas, when you meet someone a vital decision is made, do I want to be friends with this person or do I want a relationship with them.
If you pursue someone with romantic intentions, your "dating" period is in hopes of a meaningful relationship. If things don't work out essentially that person is usually pushed to the side, they disappear.
If you pursue a regular friendship with someone, they could do something u don't care for but it doesn't matter cause they are just a friend so you gonna let them do them and not let it bother you. Only exception is if you become best friends with someone and it grows into something intimate.

Why am I sharing this information...idk. It's not as random as it seems, but I'm not in a position to share where I'm at right now in relation to all the information I just shared.

I will share this quote that his influenced me this week from a book I'm reading called "The Shack"

"I suppose that since most our hurts come from through relationships so will our healing, and I know that grace rarely makes sense for those looking in from the outside."

 

Jonas and I agree that too often, women especially, become single and get in this zone and mindset of super independence, forget men, I'ma do me, I don't need no man attitude. And that's nice for a moment, but when you've grown in a relationship and when you've experienced something beautiful you can't deny the idea of love and the beauty of being committed to another person, having a companion, someone to care for and share affection with. It's a wonderful thing.

 

I'm a relationship orientated person. I can't hoe around and text tons of men ... its just not me, out of my character. I also DON'T fall quickly, but I do go where my spirit leads me. If I'm happy I'm gonna continue the path and see where it takes me proceeding with caution.

The point ladies and gentlemen is to do what makes you happy!

Genuinely happy!

Ignore physical pleasure and think does this person I'm interested make me happy?

When they are around do I feel better or do I want them gone?

When we talk do I enjoy conversation or do I want them to shut up?

Those are the things that should make you happy first (in my opinion) then the other things just fall into place. It's the little things that matter cause they are the beginning and the end of it all.

I'm big on being genuinely happy, and if I'm not I won't waste my time or yours.

Everyone deserves that much, to be honestly and purely happy.

And praying about it doesn't hurt either. (gotta stay connected with the man upstairs)

Ask, and God will provide people in your life who will uplift you.

No one enters your life by accident or for no reason at all.



Hair Doesn't Lie

A few days ago I went and got my hair done by my hair stylist Zakiyah. I was in a bit of a rush because the next day (Sat) I had International Festival and I have a hair show to work and I wanted to look good with a fresh twist out.
After she washed my hair and began the twists she asked my if I am stressing? I responded kinda confused. I was like I was but I'm not stressing right now I'm good. And then as she continued she was like, "Stephanie you need to stop stressing seriously!" And I'm like what are you talking about!?! She then shared with me that my hair was thinning...

I didn't know what to say. My hair is so thick for it to begin thinning may be hard to tell but she sees me every 2-3 weeks so she really knows my head the best. That news was alarming to me... My hair is thinning. I know I been going through some stuff lately but I felt like I was good, I made progress and I was cool. But your hair does not lie to you. Let me repeat your HAIR DOES NOT LIE!

Your hair is an extension of you, your spirit emotionally and physically. Your hair is a reflection and growing extension of your being. You ever hear of women going through a bad divorce and their hair start breaking off, or people going through lots of stuff and getting bald spots. Sometimes people go through a rough patch in their lives and they start fresh with new clothes, new home, and often time new hair! Cutting your hair differently or rocking a new style is a great way to start fresh. Showcase a new you and with your new growth comes your new happiness. They hair you cut away and tossed in the trash is the same as cutting away that debt, or divorce, or death in the family.

I'm not concerned about loosing my hair or anything so don't freak out. But this defiantly made me re-evaluate how well I think I really am. I say I'm good but apparently my hair feels otherwise...
I've been in prayer about it and mentioned it to my spiritual mommy. She wants me to pray with her 3 times a week until I get stronger. I'm determined to be content. I'm determined to be happy. I'm so blessed and talented I don't want to waste my time feeling anything but positive. At the same time I can't fool myself and I have to get stronger in every aspect of my life. God made me such a solider man! Even my boss when I talked to him he was like "for everything that's been going on you seem good." He said he'd never guess. At first I felt accomplished, I felt like good job Stephanie you got that wall back up separating you from revealing how you are feeling. I put up walls in grade school, now I have Jesus to help guard my heart. I want to be strong without the need of a wall. I want to be strong whether I talk to you or not...

I've got a hard shell on the outside. My body is no longer transparent. I'm opaque.

As for my insides.. that's still wet concrete and I'm going to work on it getting dry.
All in all I'm going to be fine, Glory Be to God.

 

October 2012 Hair at The NAPPY HUTT

September- October hair doo.
If you read my blog about "HELP TIGHT BRAIDS" it was from THIS hair style!
As beautiful as it was the over lapping did cause some pain for a few sleepless nights. AFTER that I was able to fully enjoy the hair style.

This style is a total original! Overlapping braids, and two strang twist "shag" in the bag and bantu knotted two-strand twist at the top.





I LOVE LOVE LOVE styles that are versatile. so when I was ready I pulled down my bantu knots and had a head full of curly fry twists to play with.


Sorry for the pictures being side ways when I'm on my phone it doesn't let me turn them :/







This style was completed by Zakiyah at The Nappy Hutt in Savannah, GA 31401

Personal Quote

Here is a personal quote that alot of people on Tumblr seemed to enjoy so I'm sharing it on my blogger.

"The worst part about being the tough girl is that you have no one to be weak in front of."

 

I said this last year when I was having a weak point and pretty much crying alone. I have a lot of friends who I give advice to and help guide them on good days and bad. But when I have a weak point I'm often left in solitude. Fragile individuals could loose hope seeing their strong hold breakdown. And other than God and one or two other distant adult women in my life, I'm the strongest one I know personally. I read about tons of stronger women and wish I could meet them so that I could go to them, but I don't dwell on that because Christ is my strong hold that will never leave me. So, I shed my tears, wipe my face, and get back to work. Sounds robotic but I'm so serious. I'm emotionally distraught so I can't help but cry, but when I'm done I grab a Kleenex and get back to homework, or editing photos like I'm all better. I don't do this to be fake because internally I'm still sad, but I'm also confident that God is going to take over and settle my troubled heart. Being patient is the only hard part.

 

 

Here is a link to my Tumblr Post with this quote.

 

And Here is another blog post where I wrote a poem about this type of situation earlier this year.