Mind of Jonas: Relationships vs. Dating

My Jonas is My Graphic Designer.
My graphic designer's name is Jonas.
We are both very career driven and helps in many aspects of my life beyond my graphic and web design needs.

Anyway Jonas comes up in my blog today because of the conversation we had today.
The information was so vital I felt it should be shared.

There is a huge difference between DATING and Being in a RELATIONSHIP.
This difference I didn't see until later in my young years (cough cough now lol)
 Our definition of "dating" is as follows:
DATING - exclusively learning about one person of interest in hopes of it growing into a committed relationship.

According to the mind of Jonas, when you meet someone a vital decision is made, do I want to be friends with this person or do I want a relationship with them.
If you pursue someone with romantic intentions, your "dating" period is in hopes of a meaningful relationship. If things don't work out essentially that person is usually pushed to the side, they disappear.
If you pursue a regular friendship with someone, they could do something u don't care for but it doesn't matter cause they are just a friend so you gonna let them do them and not let it bother you. Only exception is if you become best friends with someone and it grows into something intimate.

Why am I sharing this information...idk. It's not as random as it seems, but I'm not in a position to share where I'm at right now in relation to all the information I just shared.

I will share this quote that his influenced me this week from a book I'm reading called "The Shack"

"I suppose that since most our hurts come from through relationships so will our healing, and I know that grace rarely makes sense for those looking in from the outside."

 

Jonas and I agree that too often, women especially, become single and get in this zone and mindset of super independence, forget men, I'ma do me, I don't need no man attitude. And that's nice for a moment, but when you've grown in a relationship and when you've experienced something beautiful you can't deny the idea of love and the beauty of being committed to another person, having a companion, someone to care for and share affection with. It's a wonderful thing.

 

I'm a relationship orientated person. I can't hoe around and text tons of men ... its just not me, out of my character. I also DON'T fall quickly, but I do go where my spirit leads me. If I'm happy I'm gonna continue the path and see where it takes me proceeding with caution.

The point ladies and gentlemen is to do what makes you happy!

Genuinely happy!

Ignore physical pleasure and think does this person I'm interested make me happy?

When they are around do I feel better or do I want them gone?

When we talk do I enjoy conversation or do I want them to shut up?

Those are the things that should make you happy first (in my opinion) then the other things just fall into place. It's the little things that matter cause they are the beginning and the end of it all.

I'm big on being genuinely happy, and if I'm not I won't waste my time or yours.

Everyone deserves that much, to be honestly and purely happy.

And praying about it doesn't hurt either. (gotta stay connected with the man upstairs)

Ask, and God will provide people in your life who will uplift you.

No one enters your life by accident or for no reason at all.



RIP

I was trying to deactivate a joint FB page I created years ago with Pear but I forgot the email address.
I went to it and wen to the about page and found something I wrote a while back:

Pearanie = ♥

"We're two made into one.
Best Friends
Sillies
Firsts' and lasts'
And Forevermores.
We're the soon to be,
The never Ending.
We're the unexpected but everywhere accepted.
We are...PEARANIE."

-Lil' Silly-Pee

Perry always told me "I'll never let you do anything you'll regret" -Silly Pee

And I don't regret a thing...

If anything I grew and learned and God brought me here. To a place where I must put God first. My mistake was making something in my life bigger than God himself. That was no-no but not anymore. My eyes are no longer blurred I just pray that his vision will clear up as well. Sooner than later for his sake.

Nevertheless, I'm gonna force myself to see the light that God always puts out for me ahead of my every footstep. Its time for me and God to build the relationship I've desired for soo long. I never knew this was the path he would take... but no one said loving God was filled of things you like. Its going to be tough and I might not like it sometimes but I have to have faith that HE knows best. He will bring me the desires of my heart. And whether thats Perry or not i don't know. But by getting closer to God the path he has for me will become clearer to me and one day he will reveal to me the man that reflects the love that God has for me. I'm going to trust and believe that and Love God for he loved me first.

R.I.P.   Pearanie - 04-24-10 > < 02-21-13

Leave it in God's hands and let Him do his divine work!

I post this because its something I am over coming that may be a blessing to someone else's life.

You are not in control of your life, if you want to get an understanding of what to do and where you are going in life you need to conversate with God and ask him to remove the distractions and noise so that His divine still voice can be heard loud and clearly in your heart. But I'll tell you what I learned later, when you sincerely make that prayer be prepared for what you are praying for it won't be easy, you may be shocked, you may cry, you may loose some people, but its all apart of God's divine plan. Like my spiritual mommy told me, a year from today I will look at this as a small thing of the past. 

All of this is easier said than done, but my heart is passionate about my Savior and I know only he can come in and heal my heart and provide me the understanding I must patiently seek.

GLORY BE TO GOD

Nothing hurts worst

It hurts to see what you hide
It hurts to see all the potential I know you can bring
Your spirit lacks motivation
Your spirit lacks my God.

I wish I could give you my strength
My courage
My trust
My mentality
My dedication
My love
If I could package these things and send to you
What a difference the world would see.

You are not me
And I am not you
But what I have is trapped inside you.
I was once where you are but by the grace of God these gifts were released
I feel its my mission to bring these same gifts out of you
To better your life
To better your spirit
And enlighten your life.


If anything hurts me the most its seeing someone I love struggle with something I have once over come or learned to battle. Along with that hurt is the difficulty in teaching someone something that you feel. My faith and knowledge that God will and can take care of all my troubles and won't let me fail is felt in my spirit and encourages my daily life. But how do I take that and instill it in someone else? Especially in the ones I love. My over abundant optimism can be insulting to some and empty support to another. But I offer it to encourage what one could do themselves. I hear too many people say something is impossible and they can't do it, but the ability to complete a task is completely up to the individual. God won't give you anything you can't handle and fear is not something He put in you. YOU are your biggest obstacle in life. YOU determine if you can do something or not. Its up to YOU to say I will try, this is possible. You may not be able to complete something the way you envisioned or at this point in time. But your mentality should always be that you will try, problem solve, and let it be possible not impossible.

Frustration
Anger
Stress
Pressure
Fear

All these ugly things try to invade my life everyday and I'll be honest sometimes they win but never for long. I recognize these ugly words in my spirit and I cast them out with my strength, my faith, and my knowledge as what I can do through God. These ugly words are acts of a person I don't associate myself with. And crying out to God and my optimism squashes those ugly words and that person who comes with those words under the ground where they belong. My eyes are always looking up to heaven and toward a future I know God promised me in prosperity.

I just wish I could relate these ideas and emotions to the ones I love. Nothing hurts worst than someone you love battling something you can help but their spirit is resisting yours. Praying helps but the waiting hurts more. Only if they knew how hard I am praying for them and fighting for them day and night. I won't let the devil win.

Natural Hair Spotlights

So due to recent experiences and relationships being built amoungst hair salons, natural hair representatives, products, and individuals I have been inspired to build a deeper portfolio in terms of natural hair. Not only do I want this to be photography but I want it to be an opportunity for me to begin a conversation about individuals and their natural hair journeys.

I've also learned its beneficial to me as a photographer to be able to shoot basic video in terms of audio and light. And when I photograph people my portraits are as great as they are because I've gotten a chance to get to know them. A slice of their life in a still image is all I attempt to provide. Also I decided over the summer that I want to get my masters in Journalism. So every blog counts even more now lol. I want to appeal to others while still talking about things that matter to me and especially things that can help someone else and touch their lives. I choose to use my God given talents to serve.

So every post on a natural hair individual is going to be titled "Spotlight on ___________" whoever is the model. I did my first one today and I can't wait to showcase it later in a fresh new post!
I hope that these posts get deeper in the minds of ladies on their journey's because that what it is. Your hair is an extension of you. And from what I recently learned at the Taliah Waajid World Natural Hair Show is that there are a lot of things emotionally that put a strain on your body as well as your hair. As I learn more I'm starting to really see hair as a reflection of the individual. Maybe one day I'll look and feel someone's hair to determine who they are like Ray Charles felt a pair of hands.
I even got some books about natural hair that are dated back in the late 1990s and early 2000s which I hope will teach me some things that were known well before this "era" of going natural. I know its been going on much longer than most know.