If I didn't post this tonight idk if it would ever happen so I'm doing it now. Yes I'm in a funk. And I'm mad at what fell from my eyes. But my greater is gonna cradle me through the night. Might sound lonely but I rather have Jesus then something temporary by my side.
I might wanna pop off
Curse you out
Do something reckless
But I can't even think about doing that stuff long enough to watch it manifest.
What did manifest was pain and hurt and disappointment
I use that word disappointment a lot but it's most appropriate
Cause time after time you fall under my expectations
You slip beneath your greater
You fall into something less than I believe to be true.
I'm honest with myself
I'm open to all the possibilities and paths God may take me
But even with that optimism I need to pack it up.
Keep me relevant you said
Just joking around you said
Still care a lot is what you said
My expectations were not heightened
They weren't foolish.
I expected things to take time
I expected a friendship
I expected respect and support
But clearly I need to pack that all up.
I'm a good person
I'll never let someone drag me beneath my greater
I'm a good person
I'm won't be taken advantage
of my time
my heart
my generosity
I keep it 100 not for you but for me.
Forget the tape
I'm gonna need concrete
Packing it up for me
Packing it up
I'm not for sale
I'm not for display
Packing it up for someone who is ready.
It's not funny.
It's not a game.
Real people and real feelings at stake.
Despite my desires and what I say
In the end God will have his way.
Packing it up, He leads the way.
Memoirs of ......
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