DAMN! It's cool though.

I really didn't wanna blog about this because I feel like this is what you want. For me to be pissed and hurt and take it out on my blog and hunt u down and beg for you to reinstate our facebook friendship!


..................................................................................................Not gonna happen.


I'm blogging about this because a statement needs to be MADE.
Everytime you reach out to me I'm short with you.
You think I'm just being mean and putting on a tough girl act

-___-   WRONG.


The love and care I have for you will never die. It has only been transformed.
It's been transformed into blockades I use to guard my heart.
It's been transformed into wisdom and knowledge I use to enlighten and bless other women so that my experiences and pain may be a blessing to them.
The love and care I have for you has been transformed into fuel that only strengthens me through and IN Christ.

I don't beg for company
I don't beg for friends
I don't shut people out

I DID NOT shut you out.
I have no problem calling you or talking to you but if there is no purpose in conversation then I'm done. I don't waste my time with anything that does not uplift me, put a smile on my face, or encourage me.
Conversation with you is an unstable rollercoaster. There is a random sorry somewhere, maybe some admitting and sometimes you'll actually say something meaningful and kind like that last text message you sent. But then it'll flip into cussing and yelling cause you're "mad at me" but what you really are is frustrated with yourself.

I've kept my word to you and myself.
I've kept your name out my mouth.
I've kept my opinions between me and God alone.
You come to mind and I say a prayer.

No weapons formed against me shall prosper.
I rebuke any negativity and negative energy in the name of Jesus.

 

I'm flying above it all.

I'm not blogging about this because someone blocked me on Facebook and I'm upset.

Whoever is reading this understand this above all else....
People will come and go in life, that is for sure.
As a believer you are responsible for loving everyone and showing love to everyone just as God loves you. Enemies, haters, discouragers, or random people you meet. You are NEVER in the wrong when you continue to show love and respect to another being. Everyone deserves kindness and everyone deserves to be shown love.
Do all the good you can for all that you can for as long as you can. But when the good you are doing hurts you that's when you back off. That's something I struggled with for months. I felt wrong, I felt mean for ignoring calls and messages. But when I did I was hurt, disrespected and played. point blank. You are not being mean by protecting yourself. Remain peaceful and respectful and love the person from afar. You are not in control. Let God know how you are feeling and back away. I left this and you in God's hands a long time ago. I've let it go. And whatever God wants he is going to get. He is Almighty and He is in TOTAL control.

I may seem alone.
I may seem lonely.
I may seem like I'm missing out.
But don't let assumptions confuse you with reality.
Nothing is easy, and its a daily struggle.
But my faith won't let me fall.
Doors close and others will open.
Enemies fall and heroes will rise up.
I trust God to bring me positive energy and God fearing people around me to support me and get me where God wants me to be.

hmmph Jamaican proverb is ringing true today!

 

Every Dog have dem day and every Cat have dem 4 O'clock

God Bless you on your travels.

Discouragement You ARE the Devil!

The devil does not run my life.
I will not allow you to terrorize my life!

I'm tired of being uplifted and then torn down again.
Devil I'ma let you know that I'm gonna praise God through my storm!
Rejection
Disappointment
No money
No job
No support
People in and out of my life
I DON'T CARE!!!

Devil you can take it all
You can block all of my pathways
You will not make me feel some type of way!

I will make it.
I will get there
Just me and JESUS
God WILL make a way
And I don't doubt that for a second of any given day

So go ahead try me.
Make it rain a little harder.
You are underestimating the strength of a woman
Covered
Sheltered
Protected

by her Jehovah
by her Yahwah
by her Father

Go ahead and keep trying me!

Watch me get right past your "blockades"
I got a blessing on the way

I thought of you tonight

I thought of you tonight
Like I do almost every night
I prayed right there on the spot
The moment my brain began to process the thought.

The thought of you
and questions I don't even allow to
Manifest in my mind because I don't want control this time.
I tell myself no

Don't Call
Don't think
Don't you dare drink.
Just breathe

I'm allowing God to guide me
I'm allowing God to make me happy
For now, only I deserve me.
That's the way its going to be.

Accept it.
Leave me be.
Reach me by calling on Jesus
He'll relay the message to me.

Memoirs of Faithing it to make it.

Tapping on my fish tank

Tapping on my fish tank
I can't concentrate
Procrastination Overload
IDK WTF to think

I just want to rewind
Repeat what we did yesterday.
Flew a kite
So High
But you cut the string today

How am I suppose to feel
What am I suppose to think
Shit, its not the end of the world
I'm much more then you think

Yesterday there were clouds
Today there was some rain
Tomorrow will be the same shit, just on another date.

STOP tapping on my fish tank
Smudging oil on the glass
Just feed me my food
And bring my color back.

Un Regalo de mí para ti.

In all my life (so far) I've only met two people so I would call a kindred spirit.

Kindred Spirit means of similar nature or character.

I learned this word years ago reading Anne of Green Gables. The protagonist of the novel had a dear friend whom she called a kindred spirit. They held a bond for years and were extremely close.
Synonyms for the word Kindred are blood, akin,  and allied.

I share this definition because I see Kindred Spirited Individuals as something apart from friendship. Though similar its on a different level, a spiritual level. We are all spiritual beings, it is not our flesh that makes us alive, but the breath of life God put in each of us.
My ladies, Kay and Dora are strong spirited women whom I've connected with on a number of levels. They showed me a true bond of  Godly womanhood beyond the superficial friendships you find between other females. When I speak to them I don't only hear their words but I feel their message. Kay and I easily fall into tears just embracing each other. And Dora always know how to direct prayer to stay in alignment with God's plan.

So how is this un regalo....

This is a gift because it is what you asked for. Indirectly and directly you really asked: "Will you let me see beneath your beautiful?" Me presento a usted. Permiso para ver debajo de mi hermosa. Permiso para saber más de lo que ya sabe. Le doy acceso a mi ver.

You don't push. You don't shove. You have yet to even experience my hug.... yet you stay, you're present and you care. Can't tell you how many times I figured you'd just disappear. I feel what you write. I sense every word you speak into me. As different as we are, our mindsets couldn't be any closer. It's creepy, but its comforting cause its effortlessly a genuine exchange of beliefs, opinions, and ideas...rejuvenating and nourishing our spirits alike daily.

Proverbs 4:23 says, Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Guarding my heart is my duty. It's everyone's duty. God charges us with this task to not only protect us but help us recognize the value and importance of our heart. Not to be careless with our heart, but to cherish it and hold in the same importance as God holds each and everyone of us. I don't feel rushed and I don't feel fooled. That's what I want to feel and think, but the sense of positivity I feel over comes those bad things.

You are a lesson AND a blessing. You have taught me that I can share the affection I have in something healthy, motivational, and balanced, without risking the safety of my heart. My heart is not at risk because it is relaxed, it's encouraged, and comforted. You are a beautiful example of something God had been trying to communicate to me. I know what I deserve, and it's not asking for too much, because it's how God made me. God has made it extremely clear to me and my morals what is essential not only in a man but in anyone I associate myself with. I always said that I rather spend every night of my life alone  in the comforting hands of God before I lay with someone temporary, meaningless and untrue. And I mean what I say (but you know that).

 

   "You should be appreciated for who you are and what you give of yourself. If what you give isn't enough and you feel that you have to exhaust yourself and go against your integrity...[then] find someone whose needs and requirements are within your budget: Emotionally, Physical, Mentally, Spiritually."

 

I thank you for letting me be who I am. I thank you for an honest friendship with no boundaries and no finish line. Two adults simply enjoying God's blessings and spirits alike. Nothing but good vibes from here forward. May God bless each of individually and support us in all that is to come. The Good, Bad, and the Ugly, I'm down for the cause.

 

 Bienvenido, de Puerto Rico y Bienvenido a todas las pasiones y materias de mi corazón

 

 

Un Regalo de mí para ti. 

 

 

 

- A Nourished Spirit

 

I Deserve this S.M.I.L.E.

I deserve this smile
And it's effortless nature,
I deserve this warming sensation.

The feeling of satisfaction,
Described
Beyond word's education

Leaves me,
Never exhausted,
But rejuvenated
Hourly
Daily
Spiritually and emotionally.

My heart freaks out
And Melts inside.

I deserve this smile
And it's effortless nature,
I deserve this tingling sensation.

Not in the least
Do I exalt my pride,
For I am humbled by conversation
And the understanding prescribed.

I'm not sick.
I'm whole,
God by my side...
Damn it I deserve this smile
I dare not let it hide.

This smile is a blessing.
My gift from above
I'm grateful,
For its my testimony,
My statement about love.

Love taught by God,
Transcended from me to you

Left and Right,
And even you too.
This smile is here
Cause God is using you.

I deserve this smile.
And it's effortless nature,
I deserve this exchange
embrace
and teaching of affection.

Simply Motivated Interactions Lent Everyday

~Memoirs of Anie Lost&Found

 

 

Definition of the word: LEND

a (1): to give for temporary use on condition that the same or its equivalent be returned <lend me your pen> 

 

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lend 

Separated: I'm Sick

I have the urghh to write!
But my mind body and soul are separated...

I've been flooded with homework all week.
Restless naps and early morning filled with homework
My assignments have me writing and reading and annotating till I have to run out the door
Can't be late to class no more.

Exhausted.
But the hours I endure.
When I'm out of class I sit somewhere new or familiar
I prepare myself for work
Yet I linger.

Exhausted my mind starts to dream
Sweet memories stirred up by the things I see.
Young love
Laughter
Loneliness, I don't know what I'm after.
I'm an Observationalist
I react emotionally to everything that blesses my senses
Ears
Nose
Hands
Glasses.

Summer B
Midterms are next week
I'm taking 3 classes.
Every classes sparks my mind to go somewhere that doesn't matter.
My heart, my soul, my mind they are scattered
Everytime I travel I want to write but I'm too tired.
I don't want to rush the process I want it to be natural
Cause the feelings I have inside must be released!
Patience is what I'm after,
Cause my mind, my soul, my heart are scattered

They need to come home
'Come one
I'm sick.
I'm tired.