The hardest thing...

The hardest thing just became harder.
A las God has put me in complete isolation
He's pushed and forced me to relinquish everything and anything
That either has or have had potential to be greater than Him.
My God is an awesome God
But he is also a jealous one.

Am I scared... of course
Crying... Duh
Confident.... Over time

I've been lifting all of my concerns and worries up to God but today... oh Lord today God made me pack up, lift and carry the one thing I had left. And honestly in all my pain and hurt I still love God and I know that he is testing me. Because if I trust Him and have Faith in Him then I should just know that my problems are taken care of. The healing process that remains is asking God to remove this pain from my heart. Confessing to Him that I've given Him my EVERYTHING! And thats where my problem became a problem. I allowed my greatest concern to be bigger than God, I allowed him to be my everything, my backbone, my picker upper. But that is a job for God. God is my EVERYTHING my backbone, my provider, no man but God can treat me and deliever me.

So therefore I am solitary floating in the hands of Jesus...

Lonely nights, rough days, sad news it's just me an Jesus. I sincerely told God I wanted to get closer to Him and he is simply answering my prayer. I didn't prepare myself for the serious TURN OVER in my life that occured but God gave me a strong heart and an optimistic spirit and when I tell you I am fighting the devil boy am I fighting the devil! I am fighting depression, I am fighting lonliness, I am fighting doubt because God did not put those things in me. I know it will take time but God with his love will be patient and kind and help  carry me to a place of happiness like never before.

God I truly truly truly GIVE MYSELF AWAY.
Watch me and protect me, be my Lord and Savior.
My happiness and understanding is next to you, this time I'm not going anywhere.

 

Exodus Chapter 20:

1 And God spoke all these words:2 "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.3 "You shall have no other gods before me.4 "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand [ generations] of those who love me and keep my commandments.  





I gotta fall in love with Jesus and if it is his will then one day I'll meet you again.