I share the same emotions as many others who are ready to go home but wish to stay here in France but yet missing home. Its a tug-of-war pulling emotions back and forth.
I'm just so proud of all the incredible artists I met not just here but in the 3 years I dedicated to Savannah College of Art and Design. The amount of talent is insane!! If only you could witness the clever, creative, mind boggling madness these individuals are capable of. I'm proud to have known then when our goals were nothing but a dream in the near/far future.
It was the last quarter for a lot of students but to my knowledge I was the only one who already walked in graduation. So the feeling of completion has come full circle exceptionally for me...
I completed my senior project. I invited all my family to Savannah. They watched me walk across that stage. They celebrated the baby Brown graduating from college. I then went to France and complete the final 2 classes required for my degree excelled and featured 3 pieces of art work in a group show here in France.
Damn. I'm just beyond grateful. My tears are tears of joy and fulfillment. I'm proud of myself and grateful to so many people...
My parents for supporting me even against their wishes to go to art school.
My siblings for their individual efforts and prayers.
Past professors and educators following me on Facebook and Tumblr and this blog rooting for me and my dreams.
Fellow artists for seeing my work, supporting it, and uplifting it.
Viewers for standing and embracing my art soaking it in, discovering, and filling me with such sense a satisfaction I can't begin to describe.
My friends! The real ones checking in on me and snapping me and asking how I'm doing. The ones that can't wait for my arrival.
And Mr. Fleming, my all star fan. You are my anchor in the States and your belief in me is insane.
On Tuesday I fly out of France and back to the USA.
Back to home.
Back to the familiar or not so much.
I fly toward my future, day 1 of LIFE POST GRADUATE!
Now I step away from dreaming. I lived the SCAD dream for 3 years. My final quarter I began tasting the reality of my dreams by studying in France. But in September dreaming ends. I secured a job on a cruise-ship and I'll be calling that ship home for SIX MONTHS. I can't with myself. I'm out of my mind proud and impressed.
I can honestly say that I don't know whats next. But its true when they say you don't have to know where you are going when you headed in the right direction. I'm moving on and upwards. I'm ready.
Casting fears aside with my Lord and Savior as my guide.
This afternoon I woke up from my nap being notified that a letter was in the office waiting for me. Only one person writes me here while I’ve been in Lacoste and that's Phillip. There is something special about writing and receiving mail. It’s the little things that remind me why I love the way I do.
With social media reigning supreme there is something archaic and romantic about receiving a letter and writing one. More than a love letter its a general sign of affection. It says to me you are more than a phone call, then a video chat session, and you are worth the few moments to share hand written thoughts with. From New York to the South of France, Phillips letters are well received and leave me smiling for the rest of the day.
Our relationship is different now. Lacoste changed us. Distance changed us. God shifted us. And all believe all the alterations are for the better. Since Paris I have been writing like crazy. Channeling thoughts and good vibes into poems and reflective art pieces. I'm happy. As simple as it seems but God has my spirit stoked and anxious for where my future leads.
I have a new outlook on life, my relationship, and on what God is doing in both of our lives individually and as a unit together. I have an understanding of love that only God can bring. God has revealed to me revelations that i only dreamed to see at this age. Twenty-one and approaching twenty-two God remembered my aspirations and he is anchoring me into position inch by inch. The anticipation is killing me!!! But I don't want anything that's not of His anointed time.
"When you find someone that you know you love, just love that personand God will see you through the rest of the way." -Musiq Soulchild
I find that often times in our society, especially as of recently, that we share truth behind comedy and hope that the wisdom shines through in the back of people's minds.
Examples of that being The Boondocks and this movie, "Dear White People"
From the few clips I have seen introducing this movie, yes I laugh cause its funny! But it is also the truth!
Revealing topics that need to be hot like the continuous battle between black people trying to be white and white people trying to be black. (this is a problem)
The irony is ridiculous! And our children don't even realize it. And if they do, they don't take it seriously cause they continue with their foolish ways degrading their god given bodies instead of appreciating what they were blessed with.
This past year I have learned the most from Savannah State Professors and Savannah natives, revolutionaries, and educators about our race, reputation and what our nation is doing to us. The United States is slowly killing, reconstructing, reshaping, and mis-educating our people and most of us don't even know it.
The looser parents get the worst it gets. People depending on technology and the media to educate our children instead of doing it themselves.
Where is our oral history?
Who is writing our public school curriculum?
Who is omitting black history?
Why must an individual wait till college to learn that our people were once kings and queens.
IF they choose to take an African history course
and
IF their college of choice even offers such a course!
They wonder why children are disinterested and misbehaving in school.
Have you read the stats for graduating black students?!
Do you know the numbers of black students being held back and being put in remedial behavior problem schools?!!!
Why must they be surprised to know that their beautiful brown skin they hated and hid for years used to be a commonality among our race!
Why do our beautiful young women despise their curls and aspire "blow in the wind blonde hair"
Why is my generation so lazy! (side note, save it for another blog post)
I digress.....
The world used to be small.
We were once all ONE TRIBE.
Why don't our children know that our skin color is not a "race".
Our skin is nearly an adaptation of ultra-violet light (the SUN).
Cause our race is the HUMAN RACE and we were made to adapt.
Why do our children not know that race is a social construct that we can deconstruct if we choose?!
Why do our children not understand the effects of decades of assimilation have done to us?
What it is STILL doing to us?
Open Up,
In 1997 The American Anthropological Association (AAA) recommended that the U.S. government abandon the term "RACE" on official forms because it holds, "...no scientific justification in human biology."
Chew.
Why are black models more successful in a European Market opposed to America?
Did you know France doesn't acknowledge race? Google their demographic stats, you will find no breakdown of races, no way to know how many blacks live here or whites or Asians. Everyone is considered French of various ethnic origins. Done.
Why are we being over charged for products and not fighting against it?
Why don't our children know there are people making money off of their arrest?
Why are we jailing the drug dealers instead of educating them cause there is always another way?
Where is the activist in my generation?
Where is the desire and inspiration to promote positive change?
Savor.
I believe change starts with education.
These same educators who enlightened me teach the minds of a new individual every day.
It just takes one to continue the trend.
Education
Intellect
That's the new sexy
I don't know everything. And there is far more for me to experience, learn, realize and do
But the more I learn the more I think
The more I question things
And that is a powerful thing.
Decades ago the oppressors didn't want slaves to learn how to read or white.....why?
Cause they knew that knowledge was key. They knew with just the bare basics of reading and writing they would LEARN that they had the CAPABILITY to rise up from their current status. They might learn the truth of their worth and find fault in the system. Swallow.
I pray that my generation and the ones to follow learn to read and write.
I pray that the learning of those fundamentals inspire them to teach their friends and their children.
I pray that if anyone ever tells them to put down that book or drop that pen, that they may rise up with the strength of God behind them and be granted the courage to not let that be so.
Times are changing and NOT all for the bad.
That technology we have...that thing called the internet holds many lies but also many truths.
Be inquisitive. Don't believe what you hear, don't believe me, discover validation for yourself on the web in a book. The internet puts millions of resources from the globe in one place on our computer screens.
One day my art will teach the masses. No meaningless nor absent minded art. Aesthetics being only the cherry on top I believe God has a greater use and message for my creative talents to share with the world.
Bookmark.
I encourage you to learn.
And start here with this:
Yesterday I went canoeing for the first time.
The experience was beyond me!
I was giddy!
Enthusiastic!
I was channeling Pocahontas paddling through the ice cold river.
I felt adventurous and daring!
Gutsy and ready for anything.
The scenery was beautiful. Lush Green rapids. The river bending and trailing off in the distance not knowing what to expect next. Ducking under low branches and observing fallen trees who survived by making a new home for other organisms in the water while interrupting the current only for a moment.
When I returned to our little village of a home I had dinner, stuffed myself and laid in bed to smooth sounds of my neighbor strumming her acoustic guitar. I soon fell asleep waiting for the WiFi signal to return. When I awoke It was storming. And I've been up ever since.
Listening to the sounds of the night and fearing the sighting of a scorpion or spider as I do every night.
We sleep with the windows open to allow fresh cool air to keep us cool at night.
With this harsh storm I felt exposed. Even in the comfort of my bed I could see the wind blow the curtain and the crackling lightening illuminate my window frame. The pitter patter of the rain on the cobble stone outside became monotonous and instead of soothing my to sleep kept me awake.
Just moments ago the sky has fallen asleep and everything has gone still again.
I'm sitting in a twin size bed. In a cozy apartment.
In a restored medieval village.
In Lacoste
In Provence
In the South of France
In Europe
Just hours from the Mediterranean Sea
Across the Atlantic Ocean
A long long ways from my sunny south Florida Home.
My name is Stephanie.
And my nights here have been much more than blessed.
I left 5 days and 4 memorable nights later. I left with more than I arrived.
Souvenirs, french friends, sites that have been seen, and views that will never erase from my memory.
Every day in Paris was a dream and every night in Paris I felt like a celebrity.
They celebrated the baby Brown graduating from college. I then went to France and complete the final 2 classes required for my degree excelled and featured 3 pieces of art work in a group show here in France.
