When miscarriages hit my family I took them hard. I remember voicing my feelings to my academic advisor Marsha one evening when she came home from work, I had been babysitting her two sons.
She shared with me that she had experienced one before her two boys. She also encouraged me to pray for my loved ones. There wasn't much I could say but the power of prayer is grand. She told me about her co-worker/friend who had quite the testimony having suffered 5 miscarriages amongst other trials but had a happy ending. Apparently she wrote about her story and published a book. At first I was weary about the book because I had never read it. And I didn't want to share someone else's sap story to my sister. But them Marsha told me how the book was more than just her story, but a testimony of faith and a revelation of this woman and her husband's relationship with God. That is what sparked my interest the most.
I never got the book from Marsha until the summer before my senior year. Which was convenient because I had begun my senior project which was inspired by my sisters and the book itself.
You can see the work from that project here:
https://www.behance.net/stephaniebphotos
Marsha got the book for my sister, but I held onto it because I wanted to read it first. I wanted to know the book, the story, and let it saturate my mind, my heart, and my senior project I did for class.
Unfortunately with my graduation, and moving, and traveling I never finished it....
But today I did.
With tears of joy I finished the story of Stacy and Jerome Stanton. The book is titled Fertile Ground. And it was perfect. It was everything I wanted to share with my sister and felt I couldn't. It is hope, truth, and faith in its works. Its honestly a sermon, filled with verses, her prayers, her thoughts, and occurrences that do lead to a happy ending. I share that because I don't want anyone facing infant loss to feel they are not strong enough to read this book. This book will make you stronger! It will reveal things about your relationship with your spouse and God that you may not have thought about before. I personally have never been one to suffer a miscarriage, only sympathize and this book taught me things about my own spirit and outlook on trials in my life. Followers of Christ face more trials and tribulations than anyone else!! But that is what creates our testimony. When God moves on a situation he doesn't move partially, its either HEALED or not at all. Stacy taught me that.
Ever since the miscarriages occurred I prayed for my sister every day. Every Sunday I submitted prayer cards on her behalf. God blessed me as a child with what I called severe optimism! As I got older, matured, and grew in Christ I learned that optimism is His still strong voice speaking into my spirit. I radiate my optimism to others and those in tune receive it. After my sister's first miscarriage, I became a prayer warrior on her behalf. My sister damn near raised me. A second mother. My shining light when I didn't see eye to eye with my mom. Often I was a refuge in her home getting away from my own. She was blessed with a wonderful son who is about to enter the 6th grade!! Since then she hasn't had a successful pregnancy, YET. God told me that she wasn't done yet. She is tooooooooooo deserving of a mom to just have one child!
I don't know if it's God's will for my nephew to be an only child. I don't know if she is meant to adopt. I don't know if I'm meant to carry her child for her! But I do know she isn't done... I know that she is grateful for her one and content on that blessing, but I pray that isn't a cover up for her pain and aspirations of more.
Last summer, God told me that 2014 was going to be a year that turned it all around for me. For those of you who are familiar with my blog know how treacherous the months of 2013 was and how depressed I was and really battling Satan in my Faith walk. I was weak. But I knew I just had to make it to 2014. He also revealed to me that a baby was coming and would be born. I assumed it was my oldest Sister, but time would reveal in November of 2013 my sis-in-law would be the pregnant one. Unfortunately, by December I learned that child did not make it.
Not forgetting what God promised I prayed and prayed that this would not discourage my sister-in-law. Unaware of any close relationship with the God I serve I prayed and prayed on their behalf and told them this was not it. Don't give up! By March of 2014 I would learn She was pregnant again and due in August. This pregnancy has succeeded and She is doing well. Ironically the baby's due date is the day after my sister's wedding anniversary. I won't lie, the success of this pregnancy confirmed to me the baby God said was coming. I rejoiced about that but also questioned my sister's fertility and situation. Since her last miscarriages so many things happened to her which would have made having a baby difficult or stressful. I took all these events as a sign that it wasn't her time. I learned from my Pastor that often times we pray for the things we desire when we should be praying for God to move upon our circumstances that surround us and prepare us for the blessing we desire.
After finishing this book today, I wiped the tears away and felt a strong sensation inside. I instantly remembered how I was once so sure that my Sister wasn't done. Today confirms that feeling. My optimism is no joke. I just know! And I am going to publicly declare it now and to my sister on the phone. I don't know when, or how, and under what circumstances but I just know with this certainty in my heart that she isn't done yet. I rebuke anyone's words or thoughts otherwise. Got has moved in miraculous ways once before and I know he will move in hers. This journey is just building her testimony. And I prayed a heartfelt prayer with the mountain top wind on my skin, from Lacoste, France to Florida to the Heavens above that God may help my sister and her husband receive this book well, receive my prayers, and be strengthened in their faith walk. No gimmicks, no tricks, no expensive treatment. GOD WILL MOVE ON FAITH and FAITH ALONE. And I pray that God may speak through me when I speak to her and share with her my same light and optimism I feel.
www.fertilegroundbook.com
