Spiritual Journey: Phase Bridging gaps

Since coming to SCAD I have been on a spiritual exploration in search of the right church that would help guide me coming to the Lord. Since joining Living Hope, I've learned alot and cant wait to learn more...

As my summer comes to a close I recently began thinking about the relationships I've had in the past with both males and females and what those relationships have done for me. Alot of them were one sided and left me in solitude. Many others brought me happiness and joy. I learned from them both. Growing up I was social in school but as we got older social activities happened outside of school and I was never allowed to do those things. I lost some friends but kept others. The ones that stuck around I would never forget and value their friendship. I told myself I'd never drop someone from my life because I know how it feels to be unacknowledged. And if God loves everyone I can too no matter how bad they hurt me.

John 15:12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

We are commanded in the Scriptures to show love to all believers, but we are not commanded to make all believers our friends.

In high school I was hurt and on a rare occasion I got so upset I shunned people out of my life. Re-evaluating myself I want to correct that and I feel that I have for the most part. Its one thing to forgive someone, but I think it means something more to forgive the person directly. Later in life they could be really hard on themselves for what they did or didn't do and me forgiving them could relieve them of a burden. On the other hand I could do the same thing and be rejected and have my apology not accepted. Either way I feel that my spirit is at ease because I did what I needed to do, the rest is up to God.

Prov.17: 17 says, “A friend loves at all times.”

My good friend D'Metrius and I always agreed when it came to morals and spiritual things. Something I learned from my friendship with him is that a TRUE friend will remain your friend no matter how many years go by with no communication. D and I went from talking every day to a random hello on facebook every once in a while. But today I called him and could do nothing but smile. Cause nothing had changed but time. Yeah there was a lot that we had missed but the heart of our friendship stayed the same.

1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

 I called him in particular today to discuss my ex-boyfriend from a while back. Originally I ended the relationship because he did something that disrespected my morals and beliefs, and as much as I cared for him at the time I knew I could no longer be with him. It was like the ultimate straw and sign from God. Since then we tried to be friends but it was interfering with me moving on, especially when I found someone else. I feel the best way to get over someone is to have a period of separation so the heart and mind can heal properly. I told him we could no longer talk to eachother for that reason...and that was back in 2010. Even after ending conversation I had to delete him from facebook cause even that was a distraction, I kept going back for the wrong reasons wanting to compare our lives hoping I was the one on top because he hurt me so bad. Eventually I banned myself from even searching his name on facebook, until now.

Two years later and here I am now. In a committed relationship of 2 years and 4months. And in that time I did fully get over him obviously and he became a name that I often forgot. But what can't be forgotten is the fact that before he was my boyfriend, and before he was my ex-boyfriend, he was my best friend. And for that  sole reason I feel that I have to close a door that was only taped shut. We were together at a growing time, just kids, and I know that I can't return to that. I don't want to go back to that. I just want to say that I forgive him. I don't regret anything that happened, and I'm sorry things ended the way it did. The time apart was necessary for proper healing. But we're so much bigger than that now and I just want to make peace. I want to hear his name without feeling remorse or hurt. I want to satisfy my spirit and maybe relieve a burden I put on him. Of all the people I've made peace with, (there were only like 3), I felt this one was the must unraveled.

 So what do I do? I can't call, can't visit, so i used some technology and requested him as a friend on facebook. Sounds silly but when he accepted it I had a sigh of relief.
Relieved and happy he is healthy and alive and doing something he loves and with someone! I have a motherly heart and in the end I just want everyone to be happy. I was expecting a message from him like ... "wtf?" lol but I didn't get that and that's okay. One day we'll talk and it'll be fine. Casual acquaintances, civil: everyone in your life deserves that at the very least.

I can't put it in words and its hard to explain, but my spirit is my supernatural connection to God. I have accepted the supernatural as God says I should and I listen to him and wait for him to guide me. This is something I new I would have to do sooner or later. My spirit at ease is a segway to many more blessings God has in store for me. Unfortunately its difficult for my loved ones to understand but I trust God always has the best in store for me.


I want to close with a recent facebook status I had because I feel that i worded it the best there:

I've met a lot of people in the short years I've been alive and everyone I meet and talk to more than likely have become valuable people in my memory. I think of each and everyone quite often no matter where I am. I can see something and instantly be reminded of the night we hung out, the phone call we had, or the laugh that was shared. Big or little every one of you have impacted in someway. And ...with my busy self and over protective parents (lol) I haven't always been able to there the way I wish I could. And thanks to FaceBook I can "friend" you as an acknowledgement of the time we once had. So...
To all the people in my life that I haven't spoken to or seen I wanna say HEY!!!! and Thanks for spending your time with me :)

♥ steph

1Corinthians 13:4-7 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all thing, endures all things.

My camera went to the Hospital :(

After the last shoot I did, about 2 weeks ago now, my memory card got stuck in the chamber and I couldn't get it back out. My friend Andrea used her tiny fingers to gently slide it out. After that moment I was concerned...

I went home and tried it but the card wouldn't click into place. I push it in and it would slightly bounce but still nothing. After the initial push it normally clicks and then you know its in place. I took it to the Delray Camera shop and the guy looked into the chamber with a light and then took my memory card and pushed it in easily with no problem! I was confused. What did he do differently? I then opened it up to take it out and couldn't get it out, but he pushed on it once and it popped back out. He explained that his fingers were big and clunky and that i needed to put more force behind my pushes...I agreed and did what he said and I was able to put it back in and out. But I was not fully convinced because I didn't remember it ever being that hard to insert my card and take it out. Now I had to use 2 fingers sometimes and make sure I was engaging both springs. But I fingered it was due to old age (my D5000 is 2yrs+ now) and I let it go.

Next shoot scheduled was a maternity shoot I was doing for a friend Pro-bono and morning of the shoot I clear my cards and when I insert them my camera wasn't reading it. Hoping it was the card I tried 3 other cards and they all had the same result but one. Confused and upset I kept the one that worked as to not worsen the situation but that shoot ended up being rescheduled! I took it as a sign but now  as I continued to test out all my cards now none of them worked, then one may work for a moment and the next moment it wouldn't would. I even tried the cards in another camera and they worked just fine so it wasn't the cards it was definitely my camera.

Distraught I finally went to SP-TS camera repair out of Miami and left them my baby girl for a free testing evaluation. I called Monday and learned that she needed some serious surgery...
-Card mechanism needs to be repaired
-Autofocus needs to be repaired
-i think they are gonna change the whole card part..
-and regular cleaning plus 6mo warranty

A whopping $240! and She would be away for 2-3 weeeks!

Forget the money! My baby would be gone for soo long and I am going to Chicago in a week.
I've been an emotional wreck since, I'm getting teary just typing about it now.
My camera has been through a lot with me and she has taught me and helped me get where I am now. Being without her hurts soo much. Together we make money, we capture dreams, life, and put smiles on peoples faces. I miss her so much and now she's in some camera hospital bed in New Jersey, alone... I miss my camera so much, as pathetic as it sounds she means the world to me and my heart won't be the same until she returns.

With my camera being away 3 shoots I had planned have been put on hold, thank God they were not serious paying customers but it did put my business into check. I always new I needed a backup camera but I never actually got one, plus at SCAD I could always rent one. But I need my own equipment.

Camera shopping has been tough because my mom is on me about getting something brand new and with her even helping with that. But that is just a no mommy land! She doesn't fully understand my passion and she is the last person I'd want to owe for a camera. Every camera I buy and every lens I buy is from my earnings doing what I love. I just can't have her or anyone else really disturb that selfsatisfaction I get when it has to do with what I love.
My back up camera should be identical if not a little older than my primary camera. My camera has been discontinued and replaced by the D5100 but after all I learned i decided i was not going to get a brand new camera until i could afford a full frame camera from Nikon's professional grade cameras.
Anyway, in my shopping for used/refurbished items I just wanted a camera body with warranty and the difference between a refurbished D5000 and D5100 was about $75.
Researching the difference I learned the following:

Summary:

1.The D5100 has an increased sensor resolution over the D5000
2.The D5100 has a wider ISO range than the D5000
3.The D5100 can shoot at 1080p while the D5000 can only shoot at 720p
4.The D5100 is smaller and lighter than the D5000
5.The D5000 is hinged at the bottom while the D5100 is hinged on the side
6.The D5100 has a slightly larger LCD screen than the D5000

Read more: Difference Between Nikon D5000 and Nikon D5100 | Difference Between | Nikon D5000 vs Nikon D5100 http://www.differencebetween.net/object/difference-between-nikon-d5000-and-nikon-d5100/#ixzz22zChUgiD

Therefore about an hour ago I ordered a D5100. after reading the differences the $75 difference was worth the sensor and extra megapixels.
The only sad feeling is that it would make my camera the back up but I guess not all the time. I just have to figure out how I want to go about this. I'd probably use each camera primarily for different purposes. I'm just happy to finally have a backup and I'm happy I won't have to go to Chicago next week without a camera.
My brother was like, "I didn't know you were taking pictures in Chicago" ........ SERIOUSLY BRO! I'm a photographer! A future Documentary photographer everywhere is a new opportunity to shoot the next best image, catch the greatest moments, and experiment.

I'm not as happy as I should for getting this D5100 but I hope this new camera doesn't take it personally lol. But my D5000 will always be my baby, she's my first, my companion, she's me.

Pray for my camera and for me!
<3


Everything happens for a reason and only time will reveal the truth.

The Morning After...

Last night I spent my time back in the Cheeky Fitness Studio for Pole Conditioning, the new Kangoo Jumps, and then Pole Dance.
Back to Back from 7PM to 9:30PM.

Conditioning was fun and tough. I always enjoy myself and we did a lot of arms and abs yesterday. We did alligator races and crunches. We tossed weights with a partner. We need crunches on the pole, pull ups. and  then we switched over to Kangoo Jumps. Guess I didn't quite eat enough cause the jumping on the Kangoo jumps got to me for a bit toward the end but I pulled through.

Sweating like pigs, conditioning class ended and I got to take a breather! Excited for pole reality soon hit me after we stretched and began working on the pole. I had to go back to basics in order to progress, so much time has gone by I even forgot my favorite spin :(
But I got my climbing technique down...even though I only got 1/2way up the pole. My hands feel sweaty but its all in my mind and I don't want to depend on grip. My arms are just not used to holding my weight up and thats what I gotta do.... My arms pull me up the pole and my knees crunching inward lock me into the new position up the pole. I've gotten up there once before so I know I can do it again. My goal for the summer was to be able to do a basic inversion but.... I think I'll save that for an end of the year goal so that I don't disappoint myself. Either way I'm going to fight to get there. Before I can do inversions (which is being upside down on the pole) I gotta master my climb and sitting. And I got my sitting down last night so I was very excited about that and BOY am I feeling it this morning!
Everytime I sit, walk I feel the skin at the top of my inner thighs aching, but it'll get better. Last time I did pole it hurt when I was finally sitting properly lol. And after that it never hurt anymore. My thighs just gotta toughen up to make it happen.
Another thing is my darn split! That is NON-existent! My sister used to give me hope since she was so tall and built legs and she could split but not I. That's something I put in the long term goal pile lol. One day.... I need to constantly stretch that everyday in order to see a difference. The closest I got to a split was in 9th grade when I took Ballet class and we did split stretches everyday. sigh.... Split we shall see, it'll be a While till we meet again!

As for the rest of my body my abs feel tight, which helps me not over eat. People see my body and think I'm super fit and skinny, but I'm just blessed that my metabolism is so fast and that it takes a lot for my tummy to look flabby. Trust me I've had something to pinch before and unfortunately it has been discovered before lol. But I'm coming back to SCAD ripped! And I'm going to the new pole studio in Savannah with experience! For now its the morning and after... and I'm feeling super sleepy as ever, got class in 3hrs, and a math test tomorrow -___- PRAYER!



<3

My Nifty Fifty: Nikon 50mm

The Unboxing of my NEW 50mm Lens!!

 The following are pictures of the unboxing step by step lol. Silly... I know but this moment was very precious for me. Welcome to the family 50!

 I have had my Nikon D5000 since I became a Senior in high school. It was an investment I was going to put my savings to, but my brother Solomon stepped in and invested in me. He invested in my dream and my life as a photographer and bought the camera for me. I knew in my heart he believed in what I was going to encounter and I made the money back by the end of the year with weddings and smaller gigs.

I love my Nikon for all that it has brought to me and taught me. I chose Nikon as my first DSLR because it had the best beginner user-interface to comfort my transition from my Canon powershot to the real deal. I was scared and I needed a DSLR that was going to help me through my fear and excitement. The D5000 did that for me and still is doing that for me. With everything I learned about cameras now I have no bias as to Nikon or Cannon. Photography is an investment and what you start with is more than likely what you will end up with. The kit lens was a mid range lens, 18 to 55mm. Fifty is my first prime(fixed) lens and is also my first additional lens since getting my DSLR. The choice of a 50mm was inspired by Shannon, the wedding photographer I intern for. I am in LOVE with this lens. I slowly took everything out the box taking pictures along the way and then finally put it on my camera. The first thing I did was look through the lens. The vantage point was awesome. It really is like seeing through your own eyes. I'm so close, and having to move my feet and not the zoom is great practice for me I think. Trains me to be mobile like I am with my film cameras. I shot a few things around my house and my room. It was sundown and the light coming in was very blue and dim. Shooting I had minimal changes to make and that wide open aperture is awesome! Its a f/1.8 I could only image a f/1.4 lol. Speaking of a 1.4 I couldn't find one its not on Nikon's website... Anyway, I'm loving everything about this 50! And as my high school photo teacher says, its the perfect lens for my type of shooting. And after 3 days of owning it I couldn't agree anymore!

 

 my new self portrait machine :)

One of my sexy permanent models before we went out for the night!

This is the link that I watched to help me decide and learn more about the Nikon 50mm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZiwizm4TuA&feature=g-like

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwmCrGVS3ZQ&feature=g-like

Expect to see alot more work now that I have my new lens!!!

Stephanie's Dry Rub Chicken



 

My oldest sister's husband, Andrew, makes the best jerk pork and grilled chicken and he mostly uses dry rubs that he puts together himself. And on all the food network shows the best grilled items are from a dry rub that's been marinating for hours! So I started looking up various dry rub mixtures and was constantly short an ingredient or two. So Simone, my sista, encouraged me to make my own and be sure to taste it before I apply it to my chicken. lol.

So that's what I did! Brown Sugar was my main ingredient since I love my chicken to have a sweet taste to it and then get cut off my a pinch of salt or some other flavor. Ironically I used no salt because the other ingredients had enough sodium in them.

After the preparing the rub I tasted it, smelt it and was satisfied. I cleaned the chicken with lime and little cooking wine. Then I seasoned up the meat.

I cooked the chicken WHOLE in the Nuwave oven and then I cut them AFTER they were done to seal in the natural juices. I brought some to my sister and her husband to taste and His opinion was like money to me since I see him like a meat master on the grill.

He sliced a piece, ate it....and said TASTY!!

I was stoked lol. Seems odd but you just don't understand this guy does some gourmet stuff on the grill!

CRAB CAKES

So I'm behind a few recipes so I'm getting caught up. Surprise surprise I'm late with my blog posts :P Thats the one consistent thing with me and this blog hehe :)



Anywho! Perry and I tasted these KUNG-PAO Crab Cakes at a green Publix in Boca and they were delicious! So I got the receipe and made them once I got all the ingrediants.
The receipe looks easy enough, and the last thing I got was the crab. On the recipe list it says to buy "Crab stuffing" from the seafood department in publix. I went there and found no "crab stuffing just crab. I even asked the Aprons Publix sample chef and instead of helping me he tried to tell me that the receipe is old and they haven't served that in years and he's been doing this chef thing for 15 years now -__- I was highly fustrated. How are you going to tell me what I ate a week ago?!
In my fustration he finally came and tried to assist me.

What the recipe failed to tell me was that the "crab stuffing" was a combination of the crab and crushed crispy onions. So I got flaky crab which was Buy 1 Get 1 at the moment and went along my way.
________________________________________________________________________

In the kitchen hell went down lol. I had Perry in my living room and this quick dinner went sour for a moment but my sister( on the phone) and my dad came to my aide. I mixed the crab stuffing together but it was not sticking together it just looked like a pasta dish!

We tried an egg to be a stronger sticking agent and it was no use!

Then Simone suggested I use all the moist ingredients. They were meant for the sauce and were not listed under the crab portion of the recipe but I added them anyway, that's what you see in the small bowl above. And that helped, things for sticky especially with the sweet chilli sauce. But it was not enough to ball up on its own! I even added panko brad crumbs to give it weight but still nothing.

Then DADDY came to the rescue and he said get the flour! The flour sucked up the excess moisture and allowed me to shape my crab! Simple but genius! These are the things you learn by experience not the books.

Now the my little crab cakes were finally taking shape They were ready to FRY!

My dad took the first bite and it was yummy! All that hard work paid off.

As they fried, I worked on my scallion noodles which had the multigrain pasta noodles, lots of scallion, carrots, and low fat low sodium garlic herb spreadable cheese. These noodles were delicious and were used later in the week with my DRY RUB CHICKEN ;)

With the noodles complete, I made more sauce to top the crab cakes and OMG that was very spicy! So spicy I couldn't

FINALLY DINNER TIME!

Natural Hair Do's

My speech teach Mr. Campbell announced from the first day of class how fascinating my hair is. I've been washing my hair every two weeks or so now and I have been trying my best NOT to tie it down into one style.
Each day is a new style and says something toward my outfit. I love this experimentation cause with my hair out on its own I'm challenged every day not to do the same thing I did yesterday! My mom hates when I do this but I love it! She says my hair own in its all mighty natural state is how "Mad Women" in Jamaica wear their hair... lol. Whatever!
The most I've gotten her to do is China Bump my hair or what you hair professionals call Bantu Knots. In the country, us Jamaicans refer to them as China Bumps and pronounce China "Chi-knee" lol. My late Grandma use to part her white hair and twist it and roll it into these bumps on her head. Its something I found funny before but the next morning when she took it down her hair was all wavy. Well for me Bantu Knots provide a thick coil that's springy and even tighter when I do it Jamaican style by twisting it first.

The best thing about my mom doing my China Bumps in my hair is that she got to use another Black Earth Product. She is stubborn and she has to use something before she believes in it. OR she'll believe in it if it was on one of her shows like Dr. Oz or the Doctors -__-
Anywaay she also thinks I ruined my hair...So now! She was combing my hair and praising how beautiful and long my hair still is and how I should show off my length and how no one knows how long and pretty my hair is because I wear it like rasta mad woman. lol.

The thing is that I'm happy with my hair and I no longer feel the need to show off my length like I used to. People who KNOW hair can look at my hair once and praise my length and bucket me with compliments. And if they don't know hair they'll think I cut it or I'm going natural, unbeknownst to them I've been natural all my life. I like keeping people guessing. As long as I'm loving my hair that's all what matters.
To me I have the best of both worlds. Long hair when I choose and short hair when I choose. And medium when I choose. Without cutting a strand! Wet/or Dry! Thats the POWER and CONTROL I have with my hair being natural! Do you have that authority with your hair?

Lots of my other styles come from the use of lots and lots of hair pins.
The products I use mostly are Curly Curl Cream and style N shine for my Bantu Knots.

The great thing is that I don't use this stuff daily. Once its in my hair I reactivate it by moistening my hair with water. It saves on the product too!

Enjoy the Pictures!!!!
(The Last Style is how my hair is currently)
I also enlarged the final style since I have some process images in here as well :)