Okay! So these past 2 days flew by and I got behind. Thats the trouble with me and daily blogs I can't keep up!
I don't have too much to say about the fast. The bigger fasting updates will be in tonights post seeing how I'm just posting to recap on the past 2 days.
I do feel a difference in my day when I get busy like this though. I feel almost as if i don't have the Lords prescence as much as I did the first two days when I did nothing much but pray and munch and go to a few classes.
I think its a mental thing though...
Something that I am struggling with which I will get into later is letting go or not being so WORRIED about everything. I put things in GODs hands verbally yet I still hold onto the other end of it. Its not a trust issue though, at least I don't think so. I think its just me having a hard time of breaking out of my regular routine.
The dining hall closes at 7pm today so I have to take my food to-go :/ It is the weekend here at SCAD but having class on Friday as a make-up to the MLK holiday we had is messing with my chi big time!
At any rate talk to you guys soon. And the term "you guys" is a little lame because I have no real audience just the internet void to type and record my thoughts and processes. And like I told a friend today, I'm not cocky at all, but even with no viewers right now... I feel that my mindset, personality, physcology and methods of life are so unique and mature for my age that they should be shared even if I am only sharing it with my non-existent viewers.
Similar to how I talk to GOD. I feel like I do it subconsciously. When I think to myself or contemplate an idea I'm discussing it with GOD...yup thats what I think!
Later.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
DAY TWO
Day two brought emotions out of me this morning.
The last 30mins of the prayer conference I caught was strong and got tears rolling when I thought about certain things. I am very grateful for the things in my life and the good people in my life as well and I like to see good things happen to them. My sister is one of them and GOD put her on my mind this morning and I prayed and prayed for her and even sent her a text message because I had to share with her that her efforts were recognized and I know GOD has his hands on her situation. I feel that by sharing that with her any doubts or fears she may have about giving up will cease to exist and that she will not stop trying.
My dear bebe, its hard to tell when GOD is working in my relationship. I have found over the year and eight months we have been together things are overturned over a length of time. But he is a blessing in my life that is worth the wait. GOD is working in both of our lives in different ways. Today he called me his guardian angel, somewhat out of context, but it made me think more on if I am meant to be that power house of Faith for him. Perhaps my strength building in Christ will grow to be a solid resting place he can go to and resort to as he reachings GOD in his own way to stand on his own feet in Christ.
Anyhoo, the devil was tempting me this morning by blowing away my breakfast while walking to class(grapes, green ones too :( they were yummy). But I held on through class with my warm water and had faith and i had no tummy aches or nothing!
Dinner was very fulling! They had a spinach and garlic side dish and a good vegan soup and white rice. lots of natural things for me to choose from! The spinach and garlic was my favorite. The soup was good but tooo too salty so i culdnt eat it at all. I was lucky to meet the chef of my dining hall. i was asking about how the soup was prepared to make sure it was all natural ingrediants and he answered my questions and even figured out that I was doing the Daniel Fast. I think he was impressed and wished me luck. He even said if I ever needed anything he'd make it special for me :)
Now I don't mean to rush but its a BLACK OUT of the internet and I gotta get offline. In protest of SOPA/PIPA bills nots to be passed. The way we surf the web and run our lives will never be the same.
<3
The last 30mins of the prayer conference I caught was strong and got tears rolling when I thought about certain things. I am very grateful for the things in my life and the good people in my life as well and I like to see good things happen to them. My sister is one of them and GOD put her on my mind this morning and I prayed and prayed for her and even sent her a text message because I had to share with her that her efforts were recognized and I know GOD has his hands on her situation. I feel that by sharing that with her any doubts or fears she may have about giving up will cease to exist and that she will not stop trying.
My dear bebe, its hard to tell when GOD is working in my relationship. I have found over the year and eight months we have been together things are overturned over a length of time. But he is a blessing in my life that is worth the wait. GOD is working in both of our lives in different ways. Today he called me his guardian angel, somewhat out of context, but it made me think more on if I am meant to be that power house of Faith for him. Perhaps my strength building in Christ will grow to be a solid resting place he can go to and resort to as he reachings GOD in his own way to stand on his own feet in Christ.
Anyhoo, the devil was tempting me this morning by blowing away my breakfast while walking to class(grapes, green ones too :( they were yummy). But I held on through class with my warm water and had faith and i had no tummy aches or nothing!
Dinner was very fulling! They had a spinach and garlic side dish and a good vegan soup and white rice. lots of natural things for me to choose from! The spinach and garlic was my favorite. The soup was good but tooo too salty so i culdnt eat it at all. I was lucky to meet the chef of my dining hall. i was asking about how the soup was prepared to make sure it was all natural ingrediants and he answered my questions and even figured out that I was doing the Daniel Fast. I think he was impressed and wished me luck. He even said if I ever needed anything he'd make it special for me :)
Now I don't mean to rush but its a BLACK OUT of the internet and I gotta get offline. In protest of SOPA/PIPA bills nots to be passed. The way we surf the web and run our lives will never be the same.
<3
Day 1
I know I am a little late posting this but it has been in reserve in my mind.
Day 1 of my partial Daniel Fast was January 16th, 2012.
I woke up for the morning prayer conference and listened in to my pastor's voice. It was very comforting ot hear her and I prayed as she prayed than fell back asleep. I didn't wake up until 1pm and I wondered if I was tired or if I was triyng to sleep away the hours of the day. With that in mind I got up quickly. I knew I could not allow any fear to keep me from my days activities. After brushing my teeth and changing my clothes I went to the dining hall to get some food. After filling my to-go plate with fruit I remembered I would need some veggies for dinner so I got another to-go plate for that separately as my after 7pm meal. Here is a picture of what I collected:
(yes i put broccoli in my cup...)
Anywho throught the day and the day before I did speak to some people about this. One of my roomates are English and she was amazed at the endevour of me fasting for 7 whole days. She said she did it only for a day. My other roomate is not religious at all, her parents never made GOD an important factor in her life or her brothers life. When she asked why I was fasting I was proud to tell her how this was an opportunity to get clloser to GOD and speak with him through prayer and my fasting would give me time to do so. My other friend spent the evening in my room doing homework and supported my fast though she said she could never do that. I told her how at rest my mind and body and spirit was and she compared it to meditation. One day I pray that her meditation turns to prayer and a relationship with the Lord. She really needs Him.
I prayed throughout the day and I was always thanking GOD. He woke me up with the feelinf to run and take on the day. I am a carnivor, a serious meat-eater and I thought I'd be crying and struggling but boy do i tell you the POWER IN PRAYER! I felt better than ever! If I felt a little hungry I had some grapes and the feeling was gone. In the morning I warmed up my bottled water in a mug to prevent gas from building in my stomach. My dinner was the broccoli and some corn and tomatoes that my dining hall was serving today. I also filled my cup with lentil and spinach soup. Dinner:
My night ended speaking to my Bebe on the phone. I pray for him more than I pray for myself at times. I want GOD to come into our relationship more than he already is and I pray that perhaps I am suppose to be the driving force of change in eachothers lives. We are a blessing to eachother and I know GOD has a plan for us, I'm just praying to figure it out.
Now its 6:54AM and the morning prayer conference ended before I began typing this. But I can't share the details of the conference until tonight at the conclusion of Day 2.
May God Bless those who find these blog posts.
<3
Day 1 of my partial Daniel Fast was January 16th, 2012.
I woke up for the morning prayer conference and listened in to my pastor's voice. It was very comforting ot hear her and I prayed as she prayed than fell back asleep. I didn't wake up until 1pm and I wondered if I was tired or if I was triyng to sleep away the hours of the day. With that in mind I got up quickly. I knew I could not allow any fear to keep me from my days activities. After brushing my teeth and changing my clothes I went to the dining hall to get some food. After filling my to-go plate with fruit I remembered I would need some veggies for dinner so I got another to-go plate for that separately as my after 7pm meal. Here is a picture of what I collected:
Anywho throught the day and the day before I did speak to some people about this. One of my roomates are English and she was amazed at the endevour of me fasting for 7 whole days. She said she did it only for a day. My other roomate is not religious at all, her parents never made GOD an important factor in her life or her brothers life. When she asked why I was fasting I was proud to tell her how this was an opportunity to get clloser to GOD and speak with him through prayer and my fasting would give me time to do so. My other friend spent the evening in my room doing homework and supported my fast though she said she could never do that. I told her how at rest my mind and body and spirit was and she compared it to meditation. One day I pray that her meditation turns to prayer and a relationship with the Lord. She really needs Him.
I prayed throughout the day and I was always thanking GOD. He woke me up with the feelinf to run and take on the day. I am a carnivor, a serious meat-eater and I thought I'd be crying and struggling but boy do i tell you the POWER IN PRAYER! I felt better than ever! If I felt a little hungry I had some grapes and the feeling was gone. In the morning I warmed up my bottled water in a mug to prevent gas from building in my stomach. My dinner was the broccoli and some corn and tomatoes that my dining hall was serving today. I also filled my cup with lentil and spinach soup. Dinner:
I could not believe how FULL i got from just the items on my plate. I saved the soup for later which I did eat before going to bed. Before eating it I went crazy on the internet looking up what lentils were making sure it was all vegetables and water. I smelt it and poked at the items. But I comforted myself knowing that lentils were grown from the Earth and that the soup had a Vegan label on it in my dining hall so it could not have a meat broth of any kind or else students could sew the school for false advertising hehe.
The devil I would say popped up in my life via TV commercials. I was defiantly attracted to the food commercials but it didn't phase me. GOD made me so strong yesterday, I really believe I can make it through this week and even longer. I am really proud of myself and I know that God is proud of me too. My night ended speaking to my Bebe on the phone. I pray for him more than I pray for myself at times. I want GOD to come into our relationship more than he already is and I pray that perhaps I am suppose to be the driving force of change in eachothers lives. We are a blessing to eachother and I know GOD has a plan for us, I'm just praying to figure it out.
Now its 6:54AM and the morning prayer conference ended before I began typing this. But I can't share the details of the conference until tonight at the conclusion of Day 2.
May God Bless those who find these blog posts.
<3
Sunday, January 15, 2012
The Daniel Fast
Its been a long while since I've been on this blog but I feel this is a good time to come back even if its for a short period of time.
Today is Sunday, January 15th and tomorrow I am going to embark upon a fast.
Since coming to savannah I have church hopped and finally settled on a church to call home.
Living Hope Community Fellowship Church in Garden City has welcomed me and I came running. The church had just what I was looking for and more. I am a musical being and its important to me to connect to GOD and a church through the music ministry. The church has a lovely selection of music and a large college crowd. I think today they were saying they had 120 college students.
At any rate, the Pastor is the "so much more" Living Hope gave to me, better yet what GOD led me to.
Pastor Joyce Hall is the first female pastor I have ever had and what a blessing is she. Her lively hood, her voice, her jokes, her love for GOD and her church are so pure and true, my spirit hears her and loves her voice. I truly feel that your spirit talks to you if you are willing to hear it. It's a stronger voice from your heart is much stronger that her mind of course. Sometimes I wonder if its GOD...cause he knows I'll trust that voice perhaps he speaks through it...idk.
I'm looking for a change and this is no New Years Resolution this is something I have been inching toward one step at a time. GOD has blessed my life with graduation, with marriages in my family, with loved ones around me, with affording to get to the College of my dreams. I've always had a guilty conscience and I feel that to continue living my life the same without giving him more than a thank you is foolish! What I want to do is not pay back. Its not temporary its a new lifestyle that cannot happen over night. But I am passionate in what I do and I pray for many more blessings in my life, but who am I to ask for blessings for which my actions do not deserve.
I watch the lives of Godly men and women and I take mental notes trying to figure out what I am doing wrong. But that was my issue I was not being me I was attempting to be someone else. I have to find MY new lifestlye and MY way of worship and MY way of speaking to my Jesus. I have religious role models in my life but my sister is one in particular. From her college days she dedicated herself to the Lord and I envy her stories of her prayer and hearing Gods answer. She's an extrodinary mother and wife and a peacekeeper to die for. Yet she still enjoys her life, her music, her movies, and sports.
I read forums online that condem secular music and Earthly activities and television as a whole. I believe those things can penetrate your mind and influence you to do and think a certain way. But am I the only one who truly believes the my spirit has a guard up? My spirit is not harmed by the love songs I sing, by the hip-hop I groove to, by the movies I watch, and various other things that interests me. That which interests me makes up my personality, my creativity, my outlook on life. But the source and the final say is reflected off my morals and beliefs of my Saviour.
I am taking part of the Daniel Fast, hence the subject title. Daniel fast is based on a fast Daniel the prophet did for 21 days. As a first timer I am going to do 7 days of a partial fast.
7am to 7pm outside of that time I going to only eat things that grow directly from the earth. no processed foods, bread, nor sweetners. Pretty much fruit, water, and veggies.
Just thinking about it is making me sigh and pout and I stuffed myself today with all the things I love to eat of course lol. But even with my pouting I am actually excited.
I am challenging myself and that excites me. The outcome also excited me. My Pastor refers to "a party" that will happen in your spirit at the end of a fast. Its like God's reward for my dedication to remove my self and wants from my life in order to get closer to him. A life with the Lord excites me. I feel that her has so much in store for him and I know he has a Promise for me that is clouded by our lack of communication.
I'm hoping my "party" is his presence in my life. I want to HEAR Him so bad! His word is truly a weapon I want to learn to weild.
Anyway, the one thing I am missing is a goal. I read that in my prayer and meditation my body, mind, and spirit is tested and pushed to many limits and that in my prayer I should have a goal. But I don't really have one. But I don't want to use not having a goal as an excuse not to do this fast. I need to go through this and I know GOD will show me the way.
I got homework, books to read, and loads of gospel music and a case of water to get me through these days. And I am going to keep up with my progress and pains via blog each night.
Good Night. 5:30AM prayer in the morning :)
Today is Sunday, January 15th and tomorrow I am going to embark upon a fast.
Since coming to savannah I have church hopped and finally settled on a church to call home.
Living Hope Community Fellowship Church in Garden City has welcomed me and I came running. The church had just what I was looking for and more. I am a musical being and its important to me to connect to GOD and a church through the music ministry. The church has a lovely selection of music and a large college crowd. I think today they were saying they had 120 college students.
At any rate, the Pastor is the "so much more" Living Hope gave to me, better yet what GOD led me to.
Pastor Joyce Hall is the first female pastor I have ever had and what a blessing is she. Her lively hood, her voice, her jokes, her love for GOD and her church are so pure and true, my spirit hears her and loves her voice. I truly feel that your spirit talks to you if you are willing to hear it. It's a stronger voice from your heart is much stronger that her mind of course. Sometimes I wonder if its GOD...cause he knows I'll trust that voice perhaps he speaks through it...idk.
I'm looking for a change and this is no New Years Resolution this is something I have been inching toward one step at a time. GOD has blessed my life with graduation, with marriages in my family, with loved ones around me, with affording to get to the College of my dreams. I've always had a guilty conscience and I feel that to continue living my life the same without giving him more than a thank you is foolish! What I want to do is not pay back. Its not temporary its a new lifestyle that cannot happen over night. But I am passionate in what I do and I pray for many more blessings in my life, but who am I to ask for blessings for which my actions do not deserve.
I watch the lives of Godly men and women and I take mental notes trying to figure out what I am doing wrong. But that was my issue I was not being me I was attempting to be someone else. I have to find MY new lifestlye and MY way of worship and MY way of speaking to my Jesus. I have religious role models in my life but my sister is one in particular. From her college days she dedicated herself to the Lord and I envy her stories of her prayer and hearing Gods answer. She's an extrodinary mother and wife and a peacekeeper to die for. Yet she still enjoys her life, her music, her movies, and sports.
I read forums online that condem secular music and Earthly activities and television as a whole. I believe those things can penetrate your mind and influence you to do and think a certain way. But am I the only one who truly believes the my spirit has a guard up? My spirit is not harmed by the love songs I sing, by the hip-hop I groove to, by the movies I watch, and various other things that interests me. That which interests me makes up my personality, my creativity, my outlook on life. But the source and the final say is reflected off my morals and beliefs of my Saviour.
I am taking part of the Daniel Fast, hence the subject title. Daniel fast is based on a fast Daniel the prophet did for 21 days. As a first timer I am going to do 7 days of a partial fast.
7am to 7pm outside of that time I going to only eat things that grow directly from the earth. no processed foods, bread, nor sweetners. Pretty much fruit, water, and veggies.
Just thinking about it is making me sigh and pout and I stuffed myself today with all the things I love to eat of course lol. But even with my pouting I am actually excited.
I am challenging myself and that excites me. The outcome also excited me. My Pastor refers to "a party" that will happen in your spirit at the end of a fast. Its like God's reward for my dedication to remove my self and wants from my life in order to get closer to him. A life with the Lord excites me. I feel that her has so much in store for him and I know he has a Promise for me that is clouded by our lack of communication.
I'm hoping my "party" is his presence in my life. I want to HEAR Him so bad! His word is truly a weapon I want to learn to weild.
Anyway, the one thing I am missing is a goal. I read that in my prayer and meditation my body, mind, and spirit is tested and pushed to many limits and that in my prayer I should have a goal. But I don't really have one. But I don't want to use not having a goal as an excuse not to do this fast. I need to go through this and I know GOD will show me the way.
I got homework, books to read, and loads of gospel music and a case of water to get me through these days. And I am going to keep up with my progress and pains via blog each night.
Good Night. 5:30AM prayer in the morning :)
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Books & Boys: I just want to Study
Books aren't heavy, but they excite my mind.
I reach for them and plan to learn all I can.
Boys comfort and care.
Boys don't like when books rule.
Understanding can only go so far...
Compensation and Sacrifice:
Tomorrow is my first day of class. I am stoked!!
I'm still adapting to roomates though after living alone for so long.
I just need to get a feel for how well I can trust these girls with my stuff and my life.
Conversation with the boy is touchy and quick.
Lack of detail, lack of converstation length.
I feel bad cause those are all areas I have been working on.
But now I don't really let it bother me.
There are too many new things going on for me to relate every second of it.
New faces, new school mates, new grass, new skies.
I just want to study and learn and grow and mature in ART.
And nothing more.
But my life without him leaves me cold on one side and lonely on another.
Life without him leaves me like I am now:
Night before my 1st day and no one to share my excitement and tell me I'll do great.
No one to say Baby I'm so proud of you, I miss you, I know you'll do great.
Am I asking for too much?
God has something in store for me. Because my passion to learn is far too great and whenever I am down and ready to fall inside, my phone rings.
its my sillyp.
I reach for them and plan to learn all I can.
Boys comfort and care.
Boys don't like when books rule.
Understanding can only go so far...
Compensation and Sacrifice:
Tomorrow is my first day of class. I am stoked!!
I'm still adapting to roomates though after living alone for so long.
I just need to get a feel for how well I can trust these girls with my stuff and my life.
Conversation with the boy is touchy and quick.
Lack of detail, lack of converstation length.
I feel bad cause those are all areas I have been working on.
But now I don't really let it bother me.
There are too many new things going on for me to relate every second of it.
New faces, new school mates, new grass, new skies.
I just want to study and learn and grow and mature in ART.
And nothing more.
But my life without him leaves me cold on one side and lonely on another.
Life without him leaves me like I am now:
Night before my 1st day and no one to share my excitement and tell me I'll do great.
No one to say Baby I'm so proud of you, I miss you, I know you'll do great.
Am I asking for too much?
God has something in store for me. Because my passion to learn is far too great and whenever I am down and ready to fall inside, my phone rings.
its my sillyp.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
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