It has been nearly a year to date since my last post in October of 2014 when I was reflecting on my journey in Italy.
Sparing you and me the catch up story I'm here cause this is my only mixing pot of knowledge.
I started this blog 4 years ago as a college freshman and it became everything I didn't plan for it to be, but that was okay cause here I could vent and share whatever. Hair, food, life, photo, journies.
What I learned
Tonight was very difficult for me. I'm up this late at 2:38am because my heart won't let me sleep.
So hopefully typing this out will.
God can test you and teach you through your pain and struggles. You can spend a year or more like I have to heal from all that pain and bounce back. The love of my life is a testimony to that very concept. He is my God sent gift that taught me what I knew and believed in was true, my love of love respected and valued.
Right now the devil is trying me. He's trying my spirit and I refuse to let him win.
Im in a place that is reminding me of old circumstances. Circumstances that have been dealt with and forgiven not burried and tossed to the side. But this time I have NOTHING to worry about, I have no reason to be up at night and concern myself with what ifs but the Devil is trying me anyway.
This has taught me what fear can do. And how when people are not strong enough to fight fear it can consume them create a problem in something that doesn't even have a problem.
It is never fair to put the burden of an ex and past terrors on ur current beau, but for some reason the devil thought he could try me tonight.
Images, crossing from past to present and making up illusions in my mind... I CANT!
The objective is that this is exactly why it can only take time to trust someone just as it takes time to heal. Every situation is different, and when entering a new one it will test your level of trust.
And my level of trust being tested in hard on me, particularly hard when your trust has been shitted on before.
But the devil is a liar!
And you aren't taking him from me today or ever. He is God's gift to me and in His hands I will leave him.
well,
goodnight i think...
