Birthday Blessings

Your girlfriend is a blessing.
Yours and mines alike.
I'm happy to tears that you are with her cause she reflects your outer being.
I think she loves you already!
Which honestly could be worrisome,
But I choose to be optimistic that she is your best thing.

She's the best thing to happen for me because
You met me first and chose her
And that decided everything for me.
I'm not mad, actually grateful
Cause I was not ready for what you'd bring.
You got that strength on you
And that heart that made me wonder

You are a life lesson
One that I'm proud of,
My definite maybe that would never become love.

My experiences with you influenced me to believe I'd never have anything better than what I had for so many years. Tempted to go back to him, frustration kept me still.
Frozen for a while until we met in person,
You brought me anew, reminding me of what I could truly do

I can have anything I desire
Not Proud, just blessed.
I can marry and have a child
But it's not my time yet.

So when you tell me you miss me...
I smile,
Warm Cheeks
I've found strength in saying no
Cause the right thing is always Rewarding.

Special Thanks To my Wrecking Ball

And a special thanks to my wrecking ball!
I appreciate the conversation where we can
Connect
Reflect
Relate
and understand each other for who we are now and what we have
Done
Learned
Accomplished
And FAIL to realize.
Oh but where would we be without God's glorious grace.

A special thanks to my wrecking ball,
For reminding me why you aren't ready
Why you won't be ready
Why we aren't together
Why I don't trust you
and why I don't love you like I want to.

Like a stubborn baby that refuses to eat
I spoon feed myself your truths
I force feed my new attitude
I have to push out a laugh and a smile when you belittle my existence
'Cause I refuse to feel less than what I deserve
N' I refuse to be fooled by your lies
God can't be deceived and therefore neither can I!
So you can keep your study buddies and college chefs
Who smile in your face for nothing less than selfish service and ill-received perks.

I'm a trophy.
A gift from God.
While you fooling around God is polishing me and preparing me
For someone who knows how to take care of .01%

"Don't you ever say I just walked away
I will always want you"

~Miley Cyrus

 

 

 

 

Anie is feeling COLD

 

 

21 Years

This past Saturday I turned 21 years old!

All of my older friends gave me the sigh of relief and overwhelming "FINALLY!"

Do I feel older?

No.

Do I feel taller?

No.

Do I feel different?

Yes. But not because I turned 21.



I feel different because with any big occasion I feel a page has been turned. I've grown a lot this year. 2013 has been fighting me since January 1st! But since my birthday I learned lots of things about myself.
I learned that I deal with my mistakes very responsibly and spiritually.
I learned that I am a light weight and that's okay.
I learned that I will always be a flirt, its in my nature and I do it well.
I learned new ways to say No.
I gained greater confidence in what I'm doing with my life.
I learned my trust in God has grown tremendously.
I learned that I really honestly NO Longer hold the ability to hate anyone.
I learned that I love my sex appeal
I learned how pleased I am with myself.
I learned what I'm ready for.

I love who I am and who I have grown up to be.
The last of five and we are all adults. Drinking eligible and educated adults.
I want to continue living myself for the Lord and embracing his blessings.
I want to continue to help others and show nothing but love.

I have the ability to love because I love God and He loves me.
But even with that ability I have my own precautions and fears that God is still working in me everyday. I'm a lover. I love to love. But I can't go looking for what God has for me. I gotta sit tight. Every bone in my body will communicate to me when I have found the one. Or better yet when the one has found me. I'm not selling myself short. I'm not settling for less than I deserve.
The idea and feeling of love is too exciting to deny its strength and its power.


Next year is my year!!
I keep telling yall, 2014 God has some super transformational things coming my way. Just watch God work!

Appreciate the Reminders

Thank you for reminding me
Of all the reasons why it won't work.
I appreciate the distance
I appreciate the neglect
I even appreciate the Instagram post with the cigarette between your lips.

Ha! And I love the piercings and the tattoos you have yet to get
I love your confusion, aggression, and everthing you don't give.
I appreciate the lies and their apologizes that follow.
I appreciate your eyes and your hands that wondered.

You confused the hell out of me!
But that's okay cause I wondered
So curious of who I was and what I was thinking
Told myself no so many times but your words always left me thinking
Hmm... tasted you once and then I left you thinking.
What was shared was spiritual this realm couldn't take it.

You never wanted anything more than to make others happy
And with every feeling you left me
I can proudly say I don't regret a thing.
That's how grown the situation was
And that's how grown you left me feeling
Two individual spirits that clashed yet united.

At the end of the day and every day to follow,
I thank God you met someone
Someone your heart may follow.
God gave me that reminder and I thank yall for that too
If its His will she will be the dealbreaker,
Your woman forever

You are the only person that could read this and know I'm genuine
Because you are the only person thus far that can decrypt the language of my spirit.
Hmph! You my nigga though!
I'll always feel we are friends
But as long as our spirits communicate the way they do the distance will remain.

I can accept that.
I respect that
Cause I want success for you.
I can be happy with an occasional hey
I am settled with the feeling in my chest when Daley sings "a definite maybe.."
I'll ask you how you are
And you will reply well.
You'll ask me how I am,
And I'll reply I'm well as well...
You smile
I'll smile
And we'll be distant again.


Much Love Leon
I pray your Leona finds you well.